Of crying... ///// O plakanju

Month number 6, Task 2

Plakanje je nešto o čemu ljudi često ne vole da pričaju. Kao sramota, kao slabost, kao neko zabranjeno voće. Ljudi baš komplikuju. Zaobilaze teme o plakanju, trude se da ga ne konzumiraju, a ne shvataju da je to jedini lek koji je besplatan, koji je dostupan skoro svima, a koji takođe pomaže u redukciji stresa, i u većini slučajeva čini da se osećamo mnoooogo bolje. Po meni, plakanje možda nije neki revolucionarni lek, ali je definitivno nešto što treba konzumirati „on regular basis“.  

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Crying is something about which people very often don`t like to talk. As a shame, weakness, as forbidden fruit. People really complicate things. They avoid topics about crying, trying not to consume it, but they don`t comprehend that it`s the only drug which is free, which is available almost to everyone, and which is also very useful in stress reduction, and in most of cases it makes us feel waaaaay better. For me, crying is maybe not some revolutionary drug, but it`s definitely something which is good to consume, on "regular basis".

 

Sećam se druga iz osnovne škole koji je vikendima pokušavao da nauči da plače, ne bi li malo smanjio emotivni teret koji je nosio zbog neuzvraćene ljubavi. Toliko je to želeo, ali mu je nešto slabo išlo. Bio je sladak svakog ponedeljka sa izveštajima o napretku u savladavanju ove „veštine“: „Saška, kao da mi je malo krenula suza. Majke mi!... Ovaj put kao da je bila tu.... Napinjao sam se, ali nikako da krene...“ I onda je meni nekako bilo žao njega. Što pokušava da savlada nešto što meni kao da je samo po sebi dato. Ne znam kako se tada nisam setila da mu ponudim luk da mu pomogne da krene :)

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I remember my male friend from high school who was trying to learn how to cry on weekends, so that he could release the emotional burden he was having from not returned love. He wanted that so much, but he just couldn`t make it. He was so sweet every Monday with his reports about the progress he was making in mastering of this "skill": "Saska, as if one tear almost dropped. Honestly... This time as it was there.. I tried sooo much, but tears wouldn`t start falling..." And then I kind of felt sorry for him. Because he was trying so hard to master something that for me was given by birth. I don`t know why then I didn`t suggest him using an onion to start him crying :)

Onaj osećaj kada stvarno osećaš rasterećenje posle plakanja. Ili barem neku blagu apatiju, što je ponekad bolje od besa ili povređenosti zbog kojih si i počeo da plačeš. Neprocenjivo.

Ja, na primer, plačem stalno. Kada gledam tužan film, zato što se rastužim. Kada gledam film sa lepim scenama, zato što sam srećna i raznežena. Kada sam nezadovoljna ili razočarana nekim postupkom momka, ali i u situacijama kada me preplavi ogromna ljubav prema njemu, pa reči i dela nisu dovoljna da mu dočaram tu silinu emocija. Ja onda zaplačem. Krenu mi suze kada vidim malu bebu, bilo uživo, bilo na reklami na tv-u. Kako da ostanem ravnodušna kad je tako nevina i čista?! Kada prisustvujem onom DA na svadbama, pa kako da mi ne krenu suze? To je tako romantično i dragoceno. Pa još kada je mlada neko ko je tebi blizak, a ti je ugledaš tako lepu i nevinu u venčanici... Ajde opet da pustim koju suzu... A kada mi dođu ženski dani, joj, joj.. Suza suzu stiže. Pa u pauzama plakanja malo (bez razloga) podviknem, pa se onda još više rasplačem, jer mislim da počinjem da ludim.

A zanimljivo je to da to uglavnom radim kada sam sama, kao svoj neki tajni katarzični ritual. Doduše i pred momkom, pa me onda on teši i mazi, a ja tek onda „odradim“ plakanje do kraja. Mislim da me moji prijatelji gotovo nikada nisu videli kako plačem, te će im možda ovaj ceo elaborat zvučati čudno.

A muškarci i plakanje? Sećam se da mi je ranije nešto najgore bilo da vidim muškarca kako plače. Ne da sam to videla kao njegovu slabost, već sam se ja osećala kao najjadnije stvorenje na svetu, misleći „ako je on sad zaplakao, to znači da nešto jaaaako nije u redu sa nama, i da JA pod hitno nešto moram da promenim“. Međutim, kako je vreme prolazilo, postajalo mi je sve uobičajenije da i muškarac pusti koju suzu, i sada mi to deluje kao sasvim normalna stvar. Ili su to naši Balkanci malo popustili kočnice? :)

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The feeling when you feel that relief after crying. Or at least the apathy, which is sometimes better than anger or hurt, because of which you started crying at first place. Priceless.

Me, for example, I cry all the time. When I watch a sad movie, because it makes me sad. When the movie is with happy scenes, because I`m happy and all positively emotional. When I`m not satisfied, or am dissappointed with some boyfriends action, as well as in the situations when I`m overwhelmed with the love for him, and the words and actions are not enough to show that to him. I cry then too. Tears go down my cheek when I see a little baby, whether live or on tv. How can I stay indifferent when it`s so innocent and sweet?! When I witness that YES at weddings, how can I not cope with tears?! It`s so romantic and valuable. And when a bride is someone who is close to you, and you see her all innocent and beautiful in the gown... Let`s shed some tears again. And when I`m in those women days, auch, auch.. Tears are running one after another.. And in pauses of crying sometimes I yell (without any reason). Then I cry even harder, because I`m afraid that I`m going mad..

Interesting thing is that I do all that when I`m alone, as kind of my catharsic ritual. To be honest, I do that in front of my boyfriend also, and then he is hugging me, cuddling me, which helps me "do" the crying until the end. I think my friends have never see me cry, and maybe they would find this elaborate strange.

And what about men and crying? I remember that before, for me there was nothing worse than to see a man crying. Not because I thought it was his weakness, but because in that moment I was feeling as one of the most useless creatures in the world, thinking "if he is crying, there must be something really wrong with us, and that I`m the one who has to change something, because I have to be the one who has screwed something up". However, by time it was getting pretty normal to me that men can easily shed a tear from time to time. Or is it that our Balkan boys have released some breaks :)

A kada neko zaplače jer mu je teško, pa dođe neko pametan sa rečenicama „nemoj plakati... ajde prestani.. i sl..“? Uvek me je to nerviralo. Ja sam zato svoje bližnje uvek podsticala da nastave i završe to plakanje, uz rečenice „nije sramota, biće ti lakše!“. I ponudila im svoje rame ;)

Eto tako. To su bila moja razmišljanja o tabu temi zvanoj plakanje. Neću vam sad baš reći „odoh da plačem“, jer sam u nekom skroz drugom moodu. Ali, ako vi osećate potrebu za tim, slobodno se istresite. Imate moju podršku i ne zaboravite:

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And when someone cries because he`s feeling bad, and then someone clever approaches him with words like " nooo, don`t cry.. stop crying, it`s not good..."? I`ve always hated that and was always motivating people close to me to finish that crying, by saying "it`s not a shame, you `ll feel better". And was offering them my shoulder to cry on it :)

And that`s it. These were my ramblings about tabboo topic called crying. Now I won`t exactly say "I`m off to cry", because I`m in a completely different mood at the moment. But if you feel a need for that, feel free to whip it out from yourself. You have my full support. And don`t forget: