Month number 6, Task 1
(Oni koje mrzi da čitaju, neka uživaju u slikama. ///// For those of you who don`t have patience to read, enjoy the photos. )
No, šta je sa situacijama u kojima to nije puko planiranje, već razmišljanje, koje obogaćuje i koje izaziva pregršt predivnih emocija. Ja sam tome dala jednostavan naziv – maštanje. Reč koju direktno vezujemo za decu, i koju tako lako zaboravljamo da koristimo u odraslom svetu. Da li zato što je sramota koristiti tu reč ili zato što odrasla osoba zaista zaboravi da mašta? Na primer: ja sam okoreli romantik, i od detinjstva maštam o svojoj svadbi, kao o jednoj od najvažnijih i najlepših žurki u mom životu. Da, da, dobro ste čuli – svadba, sa sve 100 i nešto zvanica, ja u venčanici, matičar, crkva, žurka do zore. Sve po redu, sa muzikom koja meni odgovara, naravno. I tako ja i dan danas uvatim sebe kako zamišljam venčanicu, momenat kada me mladoženja ugleda tako svu nevinu u belom, momenat kada kažemo to sudbonosno DA, i sl. I često ne mogu da zaspim od siline emocija koje mi te slike probude. Kada (i ako) se udam, to će verovatno biti u nekoj skroz drugoj venčanici, u nekoj skroz drugoj atmosferi, sa nekim novim ljudima, jer puno toga ne možeš isplanirati. Pa pitam se onda: da li sam ja to uživala maštajući, ili sam samo bespotrebno trošila svoje „odraslo“ vreme planirajući? Drugi primer: sada sam ponosni vlasnik stana, ali do pre godinu dana sam noći i noći (to mi je omiljeni deo dana za maštanje :) ) provodila u vizualiziranju slika svog tamo nekog stana. Od željenog rasporeda prostorija, preko boja zidova do rasporeda nameštaja. Uvatila sam sebe da jako zažmurim i stisnem oči, kako bih lakše mogla da dočaram zamišljenu sliku stana, a nekad sam znala i da ustanem u sred noći, otvorim IKEA katalog i dopunjujem svoje vizualizacije. Sada naravno imam stan koji ima potpuno drugačiji raspored, boje i nameštaj od mnogih koje sam zamišljala, jer sam ga birala u skladu sa trenutnim ukusom i mogućnostima. Jedna drugarica me je tim povodom pitala „pa zašto si onda za džabe trošila noći u PLANOVIMA za stan?“. A ja uopšte nemam osećaj da sam uzaludno potrošila vreme, jer sam po meni ja uživala maštajući.
Kada dete zamišlja sebe sa nekom željenom igračkom ili na nekom omiljenom mestu, u omiljenoj igri, mi ne kažemo da ono „planira“. To je kognitivni proces kojem dete još nije doraslo, pa radije kažemo da dete „mašta“. A kada odrasla osoba zamišlja sebe u nekoj željenoj odeći, na nekom željenom mestu ili događaju, mnogi ljudi će reći kako ona nešto planira, pre nego da mašta. Maštanje je reč koja sa sobom nosi prizvuk nezrelosti, i retko je koristimo u odraslom svetu. I ako je koristimo, to je često uz negativnu konotaciju – za osobu koja nije sa obe noge na zemlji, kako to dolikuje „u ozbiljnim godinama“, već troši vreme na bespotrebne „maštarije“.
Sada smo odrasli, i sve je mnogo komplikovanije. Ponekad je tanka granica između maštanja i planiranja, i sada su to često i dve komplementarne komponente, koje su bogatije kada se nadopunjuju.
Važno je to imati u vidu, svaki put kada pomislimo da gubimo vreme u bespotrebnim maštarijama. Možda bi nam život bio lakši i bogatiji kada bismo sačuvali neke dobre navike iz detinjstva, i kada ne bismo davali nove konotacije procesima koji su nas samo obogaćivali kad smo bili deca. Procesima i stvarima koje to isto mogu raditi i u ovim godinama, samo ako im to dozvolimo.
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Some friends tell me that I`m organizing and planning too much. And they`re partly right. In this world of grown-ups, with new obligations from day to day, we have less and less time for spontaneous activities. In my case, when you add "control freak" moment to those circumstances, and my perfectionism, you get a person who really likes a good and clear organization of many life events. Sometimes this is a must, but sometimes this "freak" moment only unnecessary blocks spontaneity and easy going and relaxing mood. Mine, as well as of the other acters.
But, what about the situations in which it`s not just about the simple planning, but about the contemplation, which enriches life and provokes all kind of wonderful emotions. I have given a simple word to that - daydream (imagination)! The word we usually connect to children, and which we so often forget to use in the grown-ups world. Is it because it`s a shame to use that word or it`s because a grown-up person really forget to daydream? For example: I`m a big romantic, and from my childhood I`ve been dreaming about my wedding, as one of the best and the most important parties in my life. Yes, you heard that right - the wedding, with all the 100 and something guests, me in the wedding gown, register, church, party all the night. With all the details, and music by my taste, of course. (I emphasized this because in Serbia more and more young people don`t make weddings anymore). And so, I still caught myself sometimes imagining myself in a wedding gown, than the look of my groom when he notices me all innocent in the gown, the moment when we say YES, and stuff like that. And then I often can`t fall asleep from all the strong emotions that those visualizations have provoked. When (and if) I get married, it will probably be in a completely different gown, in completely different atmosphere, with some new people, because you can`t plan those things in advance. And then I ask myself: was I daydreaming, or was I just wasting my time planning? Another example, I`m a proud owner of my own apartment now, but until a year ago I spent nights and nights (this is my favourite part of the day for (day)dreaming) in visualizing how my apartment would look like. From the organizations of the rooms, colours of the walls to the furniture organization. Often I caught myself in closing eyes very tight so that I could easier imagine the apartment, and sometimes I was even getting up, opening the IKEA catalogue and completing my visualizations. Now, of course, I have the apartment with a completely different wall colours, furniture and room organization, because I was choosing all that according to my present taste and opportunities. One friend than asked me: "Then why have you wasted your time in PLANNING?". And I really don`t have the feeling that I was wasting time, but rather enjoying in daydreaming.
When a child imagine itself with a favourite toy or at a favourite place, we don`t say that it`s "planning". We know that this cognitive process is still not possible at that age, so we say that it`s imagining. And when an adult person is imagining oneself in a favourite clothes, on a favourite place or event, we say that he/she is planning rather than imagining/daydreaming. Daydreaming is a word which often has the conotation of immaturity, and we rather don`t use it in a grown-up world. And if we do, it`s often with negative conotation - for people who are not with both feet on the ground, which is expected in adult life, but they are rather wasting time in useless daydreams.
Now we are grown ups, and everything is much complicated. Sometimes, there`s a thin line between planning and daydreaming, and now they`re often two complementary components, which are richer if they are completing one another.
It`s important to have that in mind every time when we have a feeling that we are wasting time in daydreaming. Maybe our life would be much easier if we kept some good habits from our childhood, and if we didn`t give negative conotations to the processes that were only enriching our childhood. Processes and things which could do the same to us even now when we`re grown ups, only if we let them.
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(Oni koje mrzi da čitaju, neka uživaju u slikama. ///// For those of you who don`t have patience to read, enjoy the photos. )
Neki mi prijatelji kažu da ponekad previše planiram i organizujem. I delimično su u pravu. U odraslom svetu, sa novim i novim obavezama, iz dana u dan je sve manje vremena za spontanu organizaciju vremena. U mom slučaju, kada na te okolnosti dodate i moj „control freak“ momenat, i težnju ka perfekcionizmu, dobijate zaista osobu koja voli dobru i jasnu organizaciju mnogih životnih događaja. Ponekad je to dobro i neophodno, a ponekad taj „freak“ samo smeta i bespotrebno koči spontanost i opuštenost. Kako moju, tako i ostalih uključenih aktera.
No, šta je sa situacijama u kojima to nije puko planiranje, već razmišljanje, koje obogaćuje i koje izaziva pregršt predivnih emocija. Ja sam tome dala jednostavan naziv – maštanje. Reč koju direktno vezujemo za decu, i koju tako lako zaboravljamo da koristimo u odraslom svetu. Da li zato što je sramota koristiti tu reč ili zato što odrasla osoba zaista zaboravi da mašta? Na primer: ja sam okoreli romantik, i od detinjstva maštam o svojoj svadbi, kao o jednoj od najvažnijih i najlepših žurki u mom životu. Da, da, dobro ste čuli – svadba, sa sve 100 i nešto zvanica, ja u venčanici, matičar, crkva, žurka do zore. Sve po redu, sa muzikom koja meni odgovara, naravno. I tako ja i dan danas uvatim sebe kako zamišljam venčanicu, momenat kada me mladoženja ugleda tako svu nevinu u belom, momenat kada kažemo to sudbonosno DA, i sl. I često ne mogu da zaspim od siline emocija koje mi te slike probude. Kada (i ako) se udam, to će verovatno biti u nekoj skroz drugoj venčanici, u nekoj skroz drugoj atmosferi, sa nekim novim ljudima, jer puno toga ne možeš isplanirati. Pa pitam se onda: da li sam ja to uživala maštajući, ili sam samo bespotrebno trošila svoje „odraslo“ vreme planirajući? Drugi primer: sada sam ponosni vlasnik stana, ali do pre godinu dana sam noći i noći (to mi je omiljeni deo dana za maštanje :) ) provodila u vizualiziranju slika svog tamo nekog stana. Od željenog rasporeda prostorija, preko boja zidova do rasporeda nameštaja. Uvatila sam sebe da jako zažmurim i stisnem oči, kako bih lakše mogla da dočaram zamišljenu sliku stana, a nekad sam znala i da ustanem u sred noći, otvorim IKEA katalog i dopunjujem svoje vizualizacije. Sada naravno imam stan koji ima potpuno drugačiji raspored, boje i nameštaj od mnogih koje sam zamišljala, jer sam ga birala u skladu sa trenutnim ukusom i mogućnostima. Jedna drugarica me je tim povodom pitala „pa zašto si onda za džabe trošila noći u PLANOVIMA za stan?“. A ja uopšte nemam osećaj da sam uzaludno potrošila vreme, jer sam po meni ja uživala maštajući.
Kada dete zamišlja sebe sa nekom željenom igračkom ili na nekom omiljenom mestu, u omiljenoj igri, mi ne kažemo da ono „planira“. To je kognitivni proces kojem dete još nije doraslo, pa radije kažemo da dete „mašta“. A kada odrasla osoba zamišlja sebe u nekoj željenoj odeći, na nekom željenom mestu ili događaju, mnogi ljudi će reći kako ona nešto planira, pre nego da mašta. Maštanje je reč koja sa sobom nosi prizvuk nezrelosti, i retko je koristimo u odraslom svetu. I ako je koristimo, to je često uz negativnu konotaciju – za osobu koja nije sa obe noge na zemlji, kako to dolikuje „u ozbiljnim godinama“, već troši vreme na bespotrebne „maštarije“.
Sada smo odrasli, i sve je mnogo komplikovanije. Ponekad je tanka granica između maštanja i planiranja, i sada su to često i dve komplementarne komponente, koje su bogatije kada se nadopunjuju.
Važno je to imati u vidu, svaki put kada pomislimo da gubimo vreme u bespotrebnim maštarijama. Možda bi nam život bio lakši i bogatiji kada bismo sačuvali neke dobre navike iz detinjstva, i kada ne bismo davali nove konotacije procesima koji su nas samo obogaćivali kad smo bili deca. Procesima i stvarima koje to isto mogu raditi i u ovim godinama, samo ako im to dozvolimo.
//////////////
Some friends tell me that I`m organizing and planning too much. And they`re partly right. In this world of grown-ups, with new obligations from day to day, we have less and less time for spontaneous activities. In my case, when you add "control freak" moment to those circumstances, and my perfectionism, you get a person who really likes a good and clear organization of many life events. Sometimes this is a must, but sometimes this "freak" moment only unnecessary blocks spontaneity and easy going and relaxing mood. Mine, as well as of the other acters.
But, what about the situations in which it`s not just about the simple planning, but about the contemplation, which enriches life and provokes all kind of wonderful emotions. I have given a simple word to that - daydream (imagination)! The word we usually connect to children, and which we so often forget to use in the grown-ups world. Is it because it`s a shame to use that word or it`s because a grown-up person really forget to daydream? For example: I`m a big romantic, and from my childhood I`ve been dreaming about my wedding, as one of the best and the most important parties in my life. Yes, you heard that right - the wedding, with all the 100 and something guests, me in the wedding gown, register, church, party all the night. With all the details, and music by my taste, of course. (I emphasized this because in Serbia more and more young people don`t make weddings anymore). And so, I still caught myself sometimes imagining myself in a wedding gown, than the look of my groom when he notices me all innocent in the gown, the moment when we say YES, and stuff like that. And then I often can`t fall asleep from all the strong emotions that those visualizations have provoked. When (and if) I get married, it will probably be in a completely different gown, in completely different atmosphere, with some new people, because you can`t plan those things in advance. And then I ask myself: was I daydreaming, or was I just wasting my time planning? Another example, I`m a proud owner of my own apartment now, but until a year ago I spent nights and nights (this is my favourite part of the day for (day)dreaming) in visualizing how my apartment would look like. From the organizations of the rooms, colours of the walls to the furniture organization. Often I caught myself in closing eyes very tight so that I could easier imagine the apartment, and sometimes I was even getting up, opening the IKEA catalogue and completing my visualizations. Now, of course, I have the apartment with a completely different wall colours, furniture and room organization, because I was choosing all that according to my present taste and opportunities. One friend than asked me: "Then why have you wasted your time in PLANNING?". And I really don`t have the feeling that I was wasting time, but rather enjoying in daydreaming.
When a child imagine itself with a favourite toy or at a favourite place, we don`t say that it`s "planning". We know that this cognitive process is still not possible at that age, so we say that it`s imagining. And when an adult person is imagining oneself in a favourite clothes, on a favourite place or event, we say that he/she is planning rather than imagining/daydreaming. Daydreaming is a word which often has the conotation of immaturity, and we rather don`t use it in a grown-up world. And if we do, it`s often with negative conotation - for people who are not with both feet on the ground, which is expected in adult life, but they are rather wasting time in useless daydreams.
Now we are grown ups, and everything is much complicated. Sometimes, there`s a thin line between planning and daydreaming, and now they`re often two complementary components, which are richer if they are completing one another.
It`s important to have that in mind every time when we have a feeling that we are wasting time in daydreaming. Maybe our life would be much easier if we kept some good habits from our childhood, and if we didn`t give negative conotations to the processes that were only enriching our childhood. Processes and things which could do the same to us even now when we`re grown ups, only if we let them.
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Upravo sam se vratila sa weekend-off putovanja u prirodi. Divčibare, Zlatibor, Morka gora. Tri planine za četiri dana. Puno, puno momenata za maštanje, a gotovo nijedan za planiranje. Neprocenjivo!
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I have just come back from a perfect weekend-off journey through Serbian nature. Divcibare, Zlatibor, Mokra gora (famous mountains in Serbia). So many moments for daydreaming, and almost none for planning. Priceless.
