Princ na belom konju ili konj bez princa? ///////// Prince charming or a horse without a prince?

Month number 11, Task 6

Često čujem priče o "princu na belom konju". Kao i razmišljanja o tome da li je verovanje u njegovo postojanje samo mit ili takvog stvarno treba i očekivati? Pa onda modernu verziju tog mita: nema princa na belom konju, već samo konj? 

Da li stvarno treba očekivati takvog dasu, ili nam takva razmišljanja samo otežavaju ionako već komplikovanu situaciju muško-ženskih odnosa?

Još od malih nogu crtaći nam urezuju očekivanja da takav princ zaista postoji. Međutim, u crtaćima uvek postoji i zlo, i komplikacije, kameni spoticanja i prepreke u ostvarenju te ljubavi. 

Ali, ljudi ipak nekako vole da pamte samo dobro, pa im od svega ostane samo ideja o princu na belom konju, koji dolazi i spašava stvar i samo nas digne na konja i vodi u "happily ever after" život, bez da smo morali prst da pomerimo. 

A kod dečaka (a bogami i ponekih devojčica) onda dolazi period gledanja nekih drugih filmova, koji takođe utiču na oblikovanje njegovih očekivanja od žene. Naravno, potpuno različitih od onih koje ona ima od sebe u tom odnosu...

 

Pa onda dolaze prve ljubavi, i prva razočarenja.. I cela ideja o princu sada se samo još više komplikuje. Pored tog nekog opšteg savršenstva koje je on nosio, on sada treba da zadovolji i mnoge druge kriterijume: da ume da komunicira, da sluša, da zna da se provodi, da ga zavole i drugarice, pa roditelji. A kako smo starije tome se dodaju i očekivanja tipa: da se ne plaši vezivanja, da je samostalan, uspešan, odgovoran, da ima inicijativu, i tome slično. Da li je on možda taj? Ili ovaj?

A najvažnije od svega je sledeće: da zna da ja postojim, i da samo dođe i pokupi me, kad se najmanje budem nadala. Ili još bolje: kad ga najviše budem želela!

Epa, ne može...

U prošlom postu sam spomenula svoju verziju mita o princu na belom konju: ne postoji ni takav, a baš ni samo konj. Postoji princ, ali bez konja, sa dovoljno snažnim rukama da te podigne i ponese duž zajedničkog puta. Ali, povremeno te puštajući da pešačiš, jer on ipak nije iz bajke, i jer i on ima pravo da se umori.

Na kraju, sve se svodi na jednostavnu stvar: princ je onaj koji me voli...

... sa svim mojim manama...

... sa kojim ne moram imati filmska iskustva da bih znala da ga volim...

A ako se ni pored ovakvih očekivanja ne pojavi, treba na umu imati ovo:

Šta je za vas princ na belom konju?

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English version

I often hear stories about prince charming. Also about thinking whether believing in his existence is just a myth or that person maybe really exist? And then about modern version of that myth: there`s no prince charming, but only the horse, without a prince?

Should one hope for this kind of a man, or are these kind of thinking just making this already complicated man/woman situation even harder?

Since we are little, cartoons are forming the expectations that prince charming really exist. However, in the cartoons there`s also evil, complications, stepping stones and other limitations to realization of a true love.

However, people like to remember only good things, so after all those cartoons, they remember only the idea of prince charming, who comes and saves the day by only lifting us on the horse, and take us to "happily ever after" life, without us even moving a finger.

And in boys` life (and of some girls) then comes watching some other kind of movies, that also form their expectations of girls. Of course, expectations that are completely different than the ones girls are having... 

And then comes first love, first disappointments.. And the whole idea of the prince now gets more complicated. beside that general perfections he had, he now has to satisfy some other criteria too: to know how to communicate, to listen, to know how to have a good time, to be loved by friends, parents... And as we are getting older, we are adding some other expectations: he is not to be afraid of commitment, has to be independent, successful, responsible, to have initiative, and so on. Is this maybe the one? Or this one?

And the most important thing of all is this: he has to know that I exist. and to just come and pick me up, when I least expect it. Or even better: when I most want him!

Well, no way..

In my previous post I mentioned my version of prince charming: there`s no such prince, but neither only the horse. There`s a prince, but without a horse, with arms strong enough to lift you up and bring you on your common road. However, with occasional letting you walk on your own, because he`s not from a fairytale, and he has the right to get tired.

In the end, everything comes to one simple thing: a prince is someone who loves me... with all my flaws... with whom I don`t have to have movie experiences to realize that I love him.

And if he still doesn`t show up, you should keep in mind this:

What is prince charming for you?

What I have learned this month

1. Da neke stavove ljudi ne možeš promeniti. To je posebno teško prihvatiti u situacijama u kojima si siguran da si pogrešno i nepravedno optužen. Jedino što onda možeš promeniti je sopstveni stav o celoj situaciji, kao i ponašanje prema toj drugoj osobi.

2. Da svakom dođe trenutak kada prestane imati želju da se svake nedelje provodi, druži i upoznaje nove ljude. I prioritet polako preuzmu vrednosti vezane za porodicu, mir i dom. A opet, postoje i ljudi za koje misliš da se nikad neće smiriti, i koji će uvek želeti da žive "momački/devojački" život. I to je OK.

3. Da i dalje možeš biti tretiran kao neko ko se razume u muziku, čak i ako si jedan od onih koji govore "volim da slušam razne/različite muzičke pravce" (8 tracks link).

4. Da je život suviše kratak da bi smo pričali samo jedan ili dva jezika.

5. Da i hejt i cinizam mogu biti izuzetno privlačni, ako znaju da se doziraju i iskoriste u pravom trneutku.

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English version

1. That some people`s attitudes you can`t change. It`s especially hard to accept that in the situation when you know that you are wrongly accused of something you didn`t do. The only thing you can do than is to change your own attitude towards the situation, or your behaviour towards that person.

2. That everyone comes to a phase in life when he/she stop wanting to hang out with friends every week, but instead gives the priority to the values connected to family, home and peaceful events. And then again, there are people for whom you think that will never stop leading the "bachelor life". And that`s OK.

3. That you can still be treated as someone who know music, even if you say things like "I like listening to all different kinds of music genres" (8tracks link).

4. That life is too short, not to talk a few languages.

5. That cynism is sometimes very attractive, if one knows when and how to use it.

Yes, single can mingle! (in Serbian)

Month number 11, Task 4
(Tekst se odnosi na sve one koji žele da promene svoj single status)

Iako sam već duže vreme u srećnoj vezi, ovaj tekst pišem iz dugogodišnjeg iskustva sa single životom, sa svim fazama kroz koje mislim da jedna single osoba može proći.

Ukoliko nije izašla razočarana iz neke veze, single osoba ima česte faze zadovoljstva svojim statusom. Ona barem može da izlazi, da se provodi, nikom ne treba da polaže račune, pa onda još rado kritikuje drugarice koje su zauzete i koje sada manje vremena imaju za nju.

Ukoliko je ta single osoba u prošlosti doživela neko razočarenje, single status joj pored provoda omogućava i da se zaštiti od novih krahova u ljubavi...

 Onda su tu i faze kada shvatiš da ti je super, ali bi ipak voleo/la da imaš nekoga pored sebe...

.. nekima je teško da priznaju da bi ipak voleli da su u vezi, neki se boje da ne bi mogli da iskombinuju karijeru i vezu, neki i dalje nisu razrešili razočarenje i strahove da opet ne budu povređeni, a neki (naročito muškarci u Srbiji) se plaše da će se vezati. Da, da, ako niste znali, u Srbiji je to novi trend strah/fobija - plašim se vezivanja. "Šta ako se zaljubim?","Vidim već sad da ona može biti TA, daj bolje odmah sve da prekinem.. Samo mi treba da dođem još do ženidbe.." (a pritom ima blizu 30!). E to su oni ljudi koji verbalno iznose stav kako "će uvek biti single" ili "kako je mnogo bolje njima koji se lepo druže, nego onim ljudima iz društva koji moraju da kombinuju momka/devojku i društvo", a neverbalno šalju poruku kako tim čvrstim stavom u stvari više ubeđuju sebe nego sagovornika.

A neki, opet, priznaju sve to sebi, pa očajnički krenu da traže saputnika. A od osoba (naročito) devojaka koje "smrde na očaj" svi muškarci beže. 

I onda krene da opada samopouzdanje, kao i nada da će taj "pravi" zaista naići..

 Što je šteta, jer:

 .. samo to treba osvestiti, i prihvatiti da u životu ne ide sve stihijski. Za neke od nas je život isplanirao malo više rada i truda da bi došli do željenog cilja, samo ne treba odustajati! Treba pronaći da li negde grešimo i mi sami, ako smo tako dugo single...

.. potom prihvatiti sebe, i bez te "druge polovine"...

..a onda raditi na pronalaženju saputnika. Naročito ako imaš 30 i kusur godina, imaš uglavnom žensko društvo i radiš u ženskom kolektivu, a želiš nekog pored sebe. Princ na belom konju neće zakucati na tvoja vrata, ukoliko nije imao gde da te primeti. Kreći se, druži, izlazi, počni da četuješ.. Znaj da si dala sve od sebe.. To i dalje ne donosi 100% sigurnost da će se snovi ostvariti, ali barem ćeš znati da si ti pokušala sve!

Kod mene je upalilo ono "kad se najmanje nadaš", ali kako sebe dovesti do tog stadijuma? Zato ja ne žalim ni za jednim pogrešnim pokušajem, povremenim očajničkim fazama, i ostalim šamarima realnosti. Oni su učinili da puno naučim o sebi, šta sam to dobro radila a šta ne, i pre svega mi razjasnili sledeće: zaslužujem dosta, i ne bi bilo dobro da se zadovoljavam sitnicama. Međutim, isto tako i ovo: princ na belom konju ne postoji. Postoji samo princ bez konja, ali sa dovoljno snažnim rukama da te u pravom momentu digne i ponese duž vašeg zajedničkog puta, povremeno te puštajući da pešačiš, jer on nije iz bajke, i jer i on može da se umori!

I za kraj: uvek kada gledam ovu scenu, pomislim kako neko može da tvrdi da bi ostao hladan ako bi ovo doživeo?

Da li sam ja zaljubljena ili volim? ///// Have I fallen in love or am I IN love?

Month number 11, Task 1

(scroll down for English translation of the text)

U poslednje vreme mi je ponestalo ideja za zadatke u okviru Projekta 6x6, pa su mi dragi blogodrugari na mom drugom blogu CreaCtive dali ideju da se ovog meseca posvetim temi Ljubav. Uskoro je Dan zaljubljenih, a o ljubavi svašta može da se napiše i uradi, pa sam brzinski krenula u akciju. I trudiću se da ne budem puno patetična, kako bi vam bilo zanimljivo da čitate :)

I eto nas kod priče o zaljubljenosti i ljubavi... Jedan poznati novosadski psiholog je rekao: "u zaljubljenosti ti tražiš nekoga da sa njim PROživiš, a u ljubavi da PREživiš". I zaista je tako. Kada sam se zaljubiljivala samo sam bila usmerena na to kako da se dobro provedem sa tim momkom, kako da nam bude lepo. Neminovnim neprijatnim  stvarima tu nekako nije bilo mesta. Ili su bile ignorisane. Leptirići u stomaku, žmarci u rukama. Kao da si u nekoj drugoj dimenziji.

A u ljubavi su najvažnije sigurnost, podrška, razumevanje, komunikacija. Vrednosti o kojima u "proživljavanju" ni ne razmišljamo. No, mislim da i ovde postoji "kvaka 22", jer ako se usmerimo samo na ove prethodno opisane vrednosti, opet nije dobro. Ne smeju se zaboraviti ni intimnost i (barem povremeni) dobar zajednički provod. Što me dovodi do nekog ličnog zaključka da su dva osnovna stožera uspešne ljubavi: komunikacija (i sve što ona podrazumeva: razumevanje, podršku, razgovore..) i intimnost. Jedno bez drugog ne idu, a i ljubav bez oba ne može da opstane.

Da se vratimo na zaljubljenost... Još jedan moj edukator opisao ju je kao "patološko emocionalno slepilo sa selektivnom pažnjom". Ili, po naški rečeno: zaljubljena do ušiju ili zaljubljena kao ćurka. Ne vidiš loše strane druge osobe, vidiš samo njega i nikoga drugog i teško prihvataš bilo šta ili bilo koga ko može da ti umanji tu silinu predivnih osećanja koja nosiš u sebi.

Kažu da se prvo zaljubimo, pa onda pređemo u ljubav. Zaljubljenost je intenzivna, usmerena samo na pozitivno kod druge osobe. Onda dođe ljubav, koja nije baš toliko intenzivna, ali je dugotrajnija, sigurnija, funkcionalnija. U takvom opisu ljubav ispade dosadna, za ne poželeti. Čoveku prosto dođe da stalno bude samo zaljubljen. E zato sam ja našla savršeno rešenje: voleti, biti u ljubavi, ali povremeno održavati i zaljubljenost :) Nije lako, i povremeno treba to održavati takvim, ali se isplati. Sada će sigurno neki od vas reći "ljubav treba da bude spontana, na njoj ne treba raditi". Da, ona se DESI spontano, ali da bi trajala, treba je zalivati, negovati, i tu nema ničeg ružnog. Jer u suprotnom, svako od nas će, kad se jednog dana probudi i pomisli "Bože, pa da li ga ja danas volim" (što je normalna pojava), pobeći glavom bez obzira, zbog pogrešnog uverenja da ljubav mora biti jaka svakog dana, i da je to 100% stihijska pojava.

I sada na kraju, kada čovek pročita sva ova moja pisanija, nema šta drugo da pomisli nego "ako je to sve tako komplikovano, bolje da se ne zaljubljujem" iliti "nije to za mene". Ljubav jeste komplikovana, ali je upravo to njena čar. Barem nije dosadna :)

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Lately I was running out of the ideas for monthly tasks here in Project 6x6, and my dear blogging friends from my other blog CreaCtive gave me the idea to dedicate this month to the theme of Love. Soon it`ll be  Valentine`s day, and one can write and do variety of things about love, so I have immediately gone to actions. And I`ll try not to be too pathetic, so that it all stays interesting for you to read :)

So, here we are at the story about falling in love and being in love.. One famous psychologist from my town has once said: "when you are falling in love you look for someone to have a good time with, but when you are IN love you look for someone to have a security with". And it really is like that. When I was falling in love with somebody, I was constantly directed towards having a good time with him. There was no place for the inevitable unpleasant things, or they were ignored. Butterflies in the stomach, goosebumps in my arms. As if I was in another dimension..

And in love the most important things are security, support, understanding, communication. The values which in "having a good time" we don`t even think about. Anyway, I think that here we have a "catch 22", because if we pay attention only on those values, it`s not good also. You can`t forget about intimacy and (at least occasional) good night out. Which leads me to my personal conclusion that two basis of a successful love are: communication (and everything that it means: understanding, support, dialogue...) and intimacy. One can`t go without the other, and love can`t succeed without both.

Let`s go back to falling in love... Another of my educators has described it as "pathological emotional blindness with a selective attention". Or, in everyday words: fall in love like a fool. You don`t see the bad side of the person, you just see him and nobody else and you hardly accept anything or anything that can get in the way of all that emotional intensity you have in you.

They say that first we fall in love and than we are IN love. Falling in love is intensive, directed only on a positive in one person. And than being in love comes, which is not as intensive, but it`s more durable, safer, more functional. In that description love turns out to be boring, not to be wished for. One can want only to fall in love in life. That`s why I have found a perfect solution: to be in love, but also to fall in love occasionally. With the same person :) It`s not easy, and you must work on it, but it pays off. Now some of you would probably think "love must be spontaneous, you don`t have to work on it". Yes, it happens spontaneously, but in order for it to last, you need to cherish it, caress it, and there`s nothing wrong with that. Because, otherwise, each one of us would one day, when awaken with the thought "maybe I don`t love him that much today" (which is normal), run away, from the wrong belief that love must be strong every day, and that it`s something that is 100% spontaneous.

And now eventually, when one reads all of those writings of mine, would maybe think "this is waaaay to complicated for me. Better not to fall in love". Love is complicated, but that`s exactly its virtue. At least it`s not boring :)

What I have learned this month

1. Čak i kada misliš da nema dalje, i tad postoji neko rešenje, samo ako želiš da ga prihvatiš.

2. Da ko voli dobro da se provede, voli to do daljnjeg!

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1. Even when you think that there`s no further, there`s always a solution. Only if you want to accept it...

2. Who likes to have a good time, likes it, no matter what!

3. Da je realno funkcionalna i srećna porodica prava retkost. I ako si dovoljno srećan da imaš takvu, neguj i ceni tu sreću!

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3. That a realistically functional and happy family is a true rarity. If you are lucky enough to have one, embrace and appreciate that luck!

4. Da mi je kod proslave Nove godine sa godinama sve važnije dekorisanje i hrana koju ćemo imati, a sve manje gde ću je proslaviti. Dok god je ta proslava sa dragim ljudima... 

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4. That by years with New Year`s Eve it`s more and more important to me how I`ll decorate and we`ll eat, than how and where I`ll celebrate it. As long as it`s with the dear people...

Link

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5. Da je pravu ljubav teško naći. No, kad je nađeš, gledaj da ti ne postane omiljena pesma ona "you don`t know what you got till it`s gone".

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5. That true love is hard to find. However, if you think you have found it be careful that your favourite song soon doesn`t become that "you don`t know what you got till it`s gone".

6. Da još uvek postoji puno pesama i muzičkih pravaca koji će mi srce dotaknuti. Onako jako, kako samo muzika to može!

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6. That there`s so many song and music genres left to warm my heart. On that strong and powerful way, like only music can do!

7. Da je bloggovanje divna stvar, u kojoj možeš upoznati toliko zanimljivih ljudi, puno istomišljenika, dobiti jaaako puno potrebne podrške, otkriti, deliti, dobiti, dati. Hvala vam što ste tu!

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7. That blogging is a wonderful thing, in which you can meet so many interesting people, gain so much of a needed support, discover. share, get, give. Thank you for being there!

MTV in its golden era!

Month number 9, Task 4

Dok ne sastavim nastavak prethodnog posta, palo mi je na pamet još nešto što je bilo sastavni deo mog detinjstva. A to je MTV! Ne "Rihanna-Britney-Whistle baby MTV", već onaj iz kraja 80ih, početka 90ih. Onaj MTV, koji je bio meka dobre muzike i merilo kvaliteta! 

Dobila sam od druga ova dva videa, i baš sam se raznežila kad sam se prisetila svih tih voditelja i emisija:

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Until I write the part 2 of my previous post, I remembered something else that was inevitable part of my childhood. And it`s MTV! Not "Rihanna-Britney-Whistle baby MTV", but the one from the end of the 80s, start of the 90s. The MTV which was mecca of good music and measure of quality!

I got these two videos from my friend, and I got all emotional when I remembered all the VJs and the shows:

VJ je tada bilo prestižno zvanje, i samo odabrani su bili dorasli toj ulozi. I naravno - postojao je samo jedan MTV za celu Evropu, ali sa pažljivo "multikulturalno" odabranim licima. 

Sećam se da su mi u osnovnoj školi zvonili drugari da izađem da se sa njima igram, a ja sam nekad morala da odbijem, jer je krenula emisija Hit list UK. Jer, ne saznati ko je te nedelje na prvom mestu, bilo je ravno katastrofi...

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VJ was a prestigious occupation back then, and only a selected few were up for that role. And of course - there was only one MTV for the whole Europe, but with carefully selected multicultural faces.

I remember my friends ringing me to go out and play back in the elementary school days, and me rejecting them sometimes because on TV was Hit list UK. And not to find out who is on the 1st place that week, would be equal to catastrophe...

Ako želiš da se prisetiš nekih lepih hitova iz prošlosti, tu je bio Paul King:

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If you want to remember some good hits from the past, there was Paul King:

... a ako želiš da se lepo nasmeješ i da vidiš najnovije nastupe i gostovanja, zna se - Ray Cokes:

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... and if you want to take a good laugh and to see the hottest live acts and talks, it`s definitely for - Ray Cokes.

Za marku Braun sam prvi put čula preko MTV European Braun top 20. Takođe, i prve party hitove sam čula uz ludu Simone i emisiju Party zone, a ništa manja mi nije bila ljubav ni prema alternativnoj/indie muzici iz 120 minutes i Alternativne nation.

Pa onda moliš Boga da ne pada sneg ili kiša na satelitsku antenu, jer će pokvariti signal dok je na TVu tvoja omiljena voditeljka:

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For BRAUN trademark I heard for the first time through MTV European Braun top 20. Also, my first party hits I heard from the crazy Simone in MTV Party zone show, and nothing less was my love for alternative/indie music in the shows 120 minutes and Alternative nation.

And then I prayed God not to give us snow or rain, because it will fall on the satellite dish and it will ruin the signal, while I`m watching my favourite VJ:

Da li ste vi voleli MTV? ////////////// Did you like MTV?

Boogieman, children thieves and others from that gang ///////// Babaroga, kradljivci dece i ostali iz te ekipe

Month number 9, Task 2

Skoro sam sa momkom pričala o strahovima koje smo imali kad smo bili mali. Ni jedan ni drugi nismo nikad čak ni pomislili na nešto kao npr. Babarogu. Mene nisu plašili ni priče o njoj, ni filmovi, niti zastrašivanja. 

Sećam se da je kod sestre palila on klasična priča o ljudima koji idu ulicom i koji kradu malu decu ako neće da jedu. I ti ljudi su uvek bili neki "cigani"?! (Diskriminacija od ranih nogu or what?!) Elem, ja čak ni posle tih priča nisam htela da jedem. Hranu meni uterati u usta, bio je baš izazov :)

Momak kaže da se bojao nekakvog čudovišta za koje je verovao da živi u njegovom podrumu. Nije to bila Babaroga, niti je uopšte mogao da objasni njegov izgled, već samo osećaj da tu živi i da čeka samo njega. I pokušavao je on da odstrani taj strah, ali svaki put kada je izlazio napolje, bacio bi pogled na podrum i osećao kao da ga posmatra. Ili da samo njega čeka. I tako se moj junak hrabrio i hrabrio da se suoči sa njim, jer je video da od čekanja nema vajde. Skupi on hrabrost jedan dan, stisne dupe i otrči u podrum. Kad je otvorio vrata, viknuo je na sav glas: "Šta je? Ajdeee.. Ne možeš mi ništaaaaa." Mali on, sa 5-6 godina. A kaže da bi baš bila fora da je tada tu bio jedan lokalni čovek- lutalica, koji je običavao da ulazi u tuđe podrume da se ugreje... (I ako iz ovoga prethodnog niste zaključili da je moj moma još od malih nogu bio jedan neustrašivi i proaktivan deran, onda... pročitajte još jednom, ali pažljivije... :) ).

A ja sam imala ovaj strah: bila sam ubeđena da mene i sestru neko gleda noću dok spavamo. Inače smo živeli na prvom spratu, jedno 15m iznad zemlje, gde je bilo nemoguće da neko stoji na merdevinama i gleda nas kroz prozor, kao što sam ja zamišljala. I tako taj "neko" gleda kroz prozor, i ako vidi da se neka od nas dve pomera dok spava, shvatiće da tu nekog ima, ući će i... Taj sledeći deo nisam ni razradila, ali dovoljno je strašno bilo da neki stranac upadne u moju sobu. Zbog svega toga nikako nisam mogla da zaspim, ali sam se terala da se ne pomeram, jer "ne sme da vidi da tu nekoga ima". A znate ono kada razmišljate o tome kako da se namestite u krevetu, pa vam onda k'o za inat svaka poza dođe nezgodna. I baš morate da se okrenete! Pa onda ja kažem sebi da brojim do 10, pa ću se naglo okrenuti i suočiti sa tim da li nekoga ima na prozoru. 1, 2, 3... 10.. ajde još jednom... 1, 2, 3... 10... ajde sad do 20... I tako neko vreme, dok ne presečem i naglo pogledam u prozor. Kada se uverim da nema nikoga, sa dubokim izdahom se bacim nazad u krevet, i zaspim otprilike kao Mr Bean kad je brojao ovce :)

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Recently I was talking with my BF about the fears we had when we were little. None of us had feared from eg. famous Boogieman. I wasn`t scared of the stories about it, neither the movies, neither the intimidation of others with this creature.

I remember that my sister was afraid of the stories about the people who are wandering round the streets and are stealing little children who don`t eat. And those people were always the gypsies?! (Discrimination from the early ages or what?) Btw, even after those stories, I didn`t want to eat. To put food into my mouth was a proper mission :)

My BF says that he was afraid of some kind of a creature which was living in his basement. It wasn`t a Boogieman, and he couldn1t even explain the way he looks, but just the feeling that somebody is living there and is waiting just for him. And he was trying to get rid of that fear, but every time when he was going out, he looked at the basement, and he always felt as if someone is watching him. And as if someone is waiting only for him in that basement. And so my hero was encouraging himself from day to day, cause he realized that there`s no use of waiting. So, he caught a strength one day, and went straight to the basement.  He opened the door, and screamed from the top of his lungs: " Whaaaat?! Come oooon. What are you waiiiitiiiing foooor? I`m heeeereeee!" Little him, of 5-6 age. And he says that it would be interesting that one local vagabundo was there, who had a habit to go into people`a basements to warm himself... (And if you haven`t noticed from the previous mentioned what a fearless and proactive lad my BF is, then... Read again, more carefully :) ).

And I had this fear:  I was convinced that somebody is watching me and my sister while we are sleeping. Btw, we were living on the 1st floor, at least 15 above the ground, and it wasn`t possible at all that somebody could climb the ladder and watch us through the window, as I believed. Anyway, that "someone" is watching through the window, and if some of us two moves, he`ll notice that someone is in there, and he will.. Well, I didn`t work on that one, but it was enough fearful that some stranger could come into my room. And from all that I couldn`t fall asleep, but I was forcing myself not to move, because he`ll notice that somebody is in there. And you know that moment when you just can`t find the right position in the bed, and exactly then you must toss and turn all the time. Then I say to myself to count to 10, and then to turn around quickly and look at the window, whether somebody is there or not. 1, 2, 3... 10.. another turn... 1, 2, 3... 10.. now count to 20.. And I was doing like that for a while, until I suddenly cope, get up and look at the window When I`m convinced that there`s nobody there, with a deep exhale I fall back into bed, and fall asleep like Mr Bean when he was counting sheep :)

Sestra i ja smo imale neki strah da smo nezaštićene ako m i t zatvore vrata od naše sobe dok spavamo. Godinama smo spavale sa otvorenim vratima od naše i njihove sobe, dok je njihovo hrkanje otprilike bio mio zvuk, koji je ukazivao da su tu i da nam niko ne može ništa. Takav "mili zvuk" je baš pravi dokaz da je sve u našim glavama, ha?

Naravoučenije cele priče:

Ako neko pored vas hrče, vi zamišljajte kako je to znak da vam pored njega ne može niko ništa, i lakše ćete zaspati :)

PS - Čega ste se vi plašili?

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Sister and me had a fear that we were unprotected when Mom and Dad were closing the door of our room, while we were sleeping. For years we were sleeping with both our and their doors closed, while their snoring was like a sweet sound that was a sign that they were there and that nobody can do us no harm. That kind of  "sweet sound" is a proof that everything is in our heads, right?

The main conclusion of the whole story:

If somebody next to you is snoring, you imagine that it`s a sign that nobody can do you no harm, and you`ll fall asleep more easily :)

PS - What were your fears?

Mom, can I stay five more minutes? Pleeeeeeease!!!

Month number 9, Task 1

Koliko smo samo puta ponovili ovu rečenicu kad smo bili mali... Pao je mrak, treba se na unutra - još samo 5 minuta. U gostima smo porodično, ja se zaigrala sa drugaricom, a vreme je da se ide kući - još samo 5 minuta. Vreme je za spavanje, a ja se opet zaigrala - još samo 5 minuta. Pa onda ne možeš da dočekaš da se probudiš, kako bi nastavio sa igrom.  

Ranije su se svi igrali napolju. Lastiš, Vije, Žmurke, Janjine, Klikeranje, Care care gospodare, Između dve vatre, Ide maca oko tebe... Pa još kad nam se priključi neko od starijih u npr. Između dve vatre, i onda se takmičimo ko će u "jači tim". A i kad se biraju timovi, pa moliš Boga da ne ostaneš među poslednjima, jer ćeš se baš rastužiti i osećati neželjenim.

Pa kada zapneš i padneš i PONOVO dobiješ krastu. Možda ti automatski i krene suza, ali ti odmah ustaješ i nastavljaš dalje, jer ti u glavi odzvanja ono mamino utešno "Ma, nije to ništa. Deca i trebaju da padaju. Zarašće ti..." I hoće! I trebaju da padaju deca. Ustaće i nastaviće dalje! I iz svog iskustva će naučiti kako sledeći put da pažljivije trče, a ne iz nekih tuđih priča. 

Kao što rekoh, ranije smo se puno igrali napolju. Ali, meni nikada nije bilo dosadno ni unutra, samoj sa sobom. Naravno, kompjuter tada nije ni postojao. Divan dan je bio kada sam dobila mali kasetofon, pa sam mogla da puštam kasete i pravim koreografije, zamišljajući da sam na koncertu. A kada budem kažnjena pa ne smem napolje, nije ni to problem. U nedostatku drugarica, razapeću lastiš na dve stolice i one će mi zameniti ostale saigrače. Onda je tu faza kada već hoću da se igram mame ili učiteljice sa mlađom sestrom. Naravno, ja sam učiteljica, a ona đak. Pa sve na kućnoj tabli zadajem zadatke, a ona se pita kada ćemo završiti sa tom dosadnom igrom.

Pa onda dođu rođendani... Joooj, koliko mogućnosti. Ogovaranje, televizija, kompjuter - šta je to? Neeee.. Ima toliko igrica. Masne fote, Zanimljiva geografija, Ne ljuti se čoveče, Monopol, igranje Lambade ili šta je već u koje veme bilo popularno. Još kada su pre toga roditelji slavljenika pripremili tombolu, pa ti još na tuđem rođendanu dobiješ poklon!!

A danas? Kakvo je detinjstvo današnje dece? Poznajem nekoliko mladih majki koje gotovo svaki dan peru pod, brišu prašinu i sl., jer nije higijenski zbog deteta!!! I to Domestosom! A napolje dete ne ide baš puno, da se ne bi prehladilo. Da budem iskrena, ni nema sa kim tamo da se druži, jer je prazno. I tako se onda pitaju zašto su deca danas toliko bolešljiva. Pa možda zato što nemaju prilike gde i kako da postanu otporna na bakterije?! A ne d`o Bog da dete negde pokupi krastu! Iju, umreće!

O kompjuterima, Pink kulturi, celovečernjim izlascima već u osnovnoj školi, neću ni da pričam... No, da ne bih sada iz nostalgije previše počela da kritikujem današnje detinjstvo, bolje da vam na pozitivan način podstaknem nostalgiju.. 

Ovako smo se mi igrali:

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*Note: I don`t know if people from outside the Balkans are acquainted with all the children games from the photos below, but I`ll be happy to explain them to the ones interested. And to hear about the games you were playing when you were young...

How many time did we repeat this sentence from the subject when we were young... It`s getting dark, I should get inside - 5 more minutes. With my parents I`m at their friends` house, I`m playing with other children, but it`s time to get home - 5 more minutes. It`s time for bed, but I want to play a little bit more - 5 more minutes. And then you can`t wait to get up, to continue with playing.

When we were young, the children were outside all the time. Hide and seek, Marbles, French skipping and other outdoor games. And when someone older join us, and then you compete to be in his/her team. And when teams are being  made, and you pray to the Lord to be picked by someone, and not to stay among the last ones, because you`ll feel rejected and not wanted.

And when you stumble and fall, and you get a scrape AGAIN. Maybe automatically a tear goes down, but you are getting up and continuing, because in your head you have a mother`s conforting "It`s nothing serious. Childen fall very often and get scrapes. It will heal!" And it will. Children should fall and get scrapes. They`ll get up and go on. And they will learn from their own experience how to run more carefully, and not just from the stories of the adult.

As I`ve said, we were playing outdoors a lot. However, I was not bored when I was in the house, all by myself. Of course, the computer didn`t exist back then. A lovely day was when I got a cassette player, so I could play all my favourite artists and make coreographies, as if I was at the concert stage. And when I was grounded and was forbidden to go out, it`s not a problem. Instead of other players in French skipping, I`ll use two chairs and put french elastics around them. Then comes the phase of playing moms and daughters, or teachers, with a younger sister. Of course, I`m a teacher. And while I`m giving the assignments on the chalkboard, the sister`s wondering: when does this boring game end?

And then came the birthday parties. Computers, television, gossiping - what`s that? Nooo.. There were so many games that we could played. Spin the bottle, Monopolly, dancing Lambada or what else music was popular then. And when parents of the birthday child had prepared a bingo for the party, so you get a present on somebody else`s birthday!! Could it get any better?

And today? What is the childhood like today? I know so many young mothers who are dusting and cleaning floors every day, because otherwise it`s not hygienic for the child. They do that with Domestos or something like that, every day! And the child is not going outside very much, so that it doesn`t catch a cold. To be honest, even if the child is getting out, it wouldn`t have anyone to play with. And then they are wondering why the children of today are so weak and sick all the time. Maybe because they don`t have the opportunity to get adapted to all the bacteria. And God forbid if they het a scrape sometimes. Oh my God, they could die!

Of computers, Pink television (national kitch television) and culture, going out for the whole night at the age of 12/13, I don`t even want to start talking.. So, in order not to get to too critical from all the nostalgy, lets insent that nostalgy with something positive.

This is how we were playing:

Sve preuzeto sa Dobra stara vremena