Princ na belom konju ili konj bez princa? ///////// Prince charming or a horse without a prince?

Month number 11, Task 6

Često čujem priče o "princu na belom konju". Kao i razmišljanja o tome da li je verovanje u njegovo postojanje samo mit ili takvog stvarno treba i očekivati? Pa onda modernu verziju tog mita: nema princa na belom konju, već samo konj? 

Da li stvarno treba očekivati takvog dasu, ili nam takva razmišljanja samo otežavaju ionako već komplikovanu situaciju muško-ženskih odnosa?

Još od malih nogu crtaći nam urezuju očekivanja da takav princ zaista postoji. Međutim, u crtaćima uvek postoji i zlo, i komplikacije, kameni spoticanja i prepreke u ostvarenju te ljubavi. 

Ali, ljudi ipak nekako vole da pamte samo dobro, pa im od svega ostane samo ideja o princu na belom konju, koji dolazi i spašava stvar i samo nas digne na konja i vodi u "happily ever after" život, bez da smo morali prst da pomerimo. 

A kod dečaka (a bogami i ponekih devojčica) onda dolazi period gledanja nekih drugih filmova, koji takođe utiču na oblikovanje njegovih očekivanja od žene. Naravno, potpuno različitih od onih koje ona ima od sebe u tom odnosu...

 

Pa onda dolaze prve ljubavi, i prva razočarenja.. I cela ideja o princu sada se samo još više komplikuje. Pored tog nekog opšteg savršenstva koje je on nosio, on sada treba da zadovolji i mnoge druge kriterijume: da ume da komunicira, da sluša, da zna da se provodi, da ga zavole i drugarice, pa roditelji. A kako smo starije tome se dodaju i očekivanja tipa: da se ne plaši vezivanja, da je samostalan, uspešan, odgovoran, da ima inicijativu, i tome slično. Da li je on možda taj? Ili ovaj?

A najvažnije od svega je sledeće: da zna da ja postojim, i da samo dođe i pokupi me, kad se najmanje budem nadala. Ili još bolje: kad ga najviše budem želela!

Epa, ne može...

U prošlom postu sam spomenula svoju verziju mita o princu na belom konju: ne postoji ni takav, a baš ni samo konj. Postoji princ, ali bez konja, sa dovoljno snažnim rukama da te podigne i ponese duž zajedničkog puta. Ali, povremeno te puštajući da pešačiš, jer on ipak nije iz bajke, i jer i on ima pravo da se umori.

Na kraju, sve se svodi na jednostavnu stvar: princ je onaj koji me voli...

... sa svim mojim manama...

... sa kojim ne moram imati filmska iskustva da bih znala da ga volim...

A ako se ni pored ovakvih očekivanja ne pojavi, treba na umu imati ovo:

Šta je za vas princ na belom konju?

//////////////

English version

I often hear stories about prince charming. Also about thinking whether believing in his existence is just a myth or that person maybe really exist? And then about modern version of that myth: there`s no prince charming, but only the horse, without a prince?

Should one hope for this kind of a man, or are these kind of thinking just making this already complicated man/woman situation even harder?

Since we are little, cartoons are forming the expectations that prince charming really exist. However, in the cartoons there`s also evil, complications, stepping stones and other limitations to realization of a true love.

However, people like to remember only good things, so after all those cartoons, they remember only the idea of prince charming, who comes and saves the day by only lifting us on the horse, and take us to "happily ever after" life, without us even moving a finger.

And in boys` life (and of some girls) then comes watching some other kind of movies, that also form their expectations of girls. Of course, expectations that are completely different than the ones girls are having... 

And then comes first love, first disappointments.. And the whole idea of the prince now gets more complicated. beside that general perfections he had, he now has to satisfy some other criteria too: to know how to communicate, to listen, to know how to have a good time, to be loved by friends, parents... And as we are getting older, we are adding some other expectations: he is not to be afraid of commitment, has to be independent, successful, responsible, to have initiative, and so on. Is this maybe the one? Or this one?

And the most important thing of all is this: he has to know that I exist. and to just come and pick me up, when I least expect it. Or even better: when I most want him!

Well, no way..

In my previous post I mentioned my version of prince charming: there`s no such prince, but neither only the horse. There`s a prince, but without a horse, with arms strong enough to lift you up and bring you on your common road. However, with occasional letting you walk on your own, because he`s not from a fairytale, and he has the right to get tired.

In the end, everything comes to one simple thing: a prince is someone who loves me... with all my flaws... with whom I don`t have to have movie experiences to realize that I love him.

And if he still doesn`t show up, you should keep in mind this:

What is prince charming for you?