Top 5 pointless sentences! //// Top 5 bespotrebnih rečenica!

Month number 8, Task 2

1. Nisi trebao/la (za poklon za rođendan ili npr. svadbu).

Jedno je kada znaš da neko nema para, a kupi ti veliki poklon, pa ti zaista misliš da nije trebao TOLIKO da se troši. Ali, kada ti neko dođe na rođendan, ili još gore - na svadbu, pa ti kažeš da nije trebao uopšte da se troši, e to je već radi reda. Kreni prvo od sebe - sigurno ni ti sam/a me bi išao na nečiji rođendan/svadbu praznih ruku. Osnovna kultura je poneti barem čokoladu ili neko najjeftinije vino. I čemu onda ta "radi reda" rečenica?!

2. Ja samo kažem...

Ufff, na ovu sam posebno osetljiva. Znate ono kada se svađate sa nekim, pa vam ta druga osoba kaže nešto što vas uvredi i vi joj kažete da vas je uvredila, a ona će: "Štooo? Ja samo kaže..." Šta to uopšte znači? Sigurno nije otpevala, pitala, već je KAZALA!

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1. You shouldn`t have! (for a present on birthday/wedding)

One thing is when you know that someone don`t have much money, and he/she has bought you an expensive present, so you honestly think that he/she SHOULDN`T HAVE spend so much money. However, something completely different is when someone comes to you brithday party, or worse - wedding (and in our country it`s rude to come empty-handed), and you say that he/she shouldn`t have spent money on you. Well, that you don`t mean, but rather you are saying pointless stuff. Start with yourself - you wouldn`t let yourself go to a birthday/wedding party empty-handed. It`s basic culture (at least in Serbia) to bring at least a chocolate or the cheapest wine. And why then that pointless sentence?!

2. I`m just saying!

Arghhh, I`m especially sensitive to this sentence. You know the situation when you argue with somebody, and the other person says something offensive to you. And when you point that, he/she is like "whyyyyy? I`m just saying!". What does that mean exactly? For sure he/she didn`t sing it, ask, but was SAYING!

3. Kako si? (kad si već prošao osobu i ni ne gledaš je više)

Znate onu situaciju kada prođete neku osobu koju znate i želite da joj usput kažete još nešto pored "zdravo"? Pa onda usledi ono "kako si?", iako ni ne slušaš šta ti odgovori, već nastaviš svojim putem. Ja znam da sam se osećala glupo i kad sam to pitala, pa samo produžila, a još gore i kad me je neko pitao, a ja kao budala odgovorila, tek posle shvativši da ta osoba nije ni čula moj odgovor. Onda sam to "kako si?" promenila u "jel si dobro?". Iziskuje kraći i konkretniji odgovor, a povećava šansu da zaista čuješ odgovor, pa da automatski tvoje pitanje i ima smisla.

4. Sve će biti u redu!

Mrzim kad mi to kažu, ili kad zahtevaju da to ja kažem, a niko ne može znati da li sve hoće ili neće biti u redu. Ja kada tešim neku dragu osobu, više volim da kažem nešto poput "izdržaćeš, preguraćeš, može i gore, tu sam za tebe, zajedno je lakše", nego da dajem garancije za nešto što niko nema. Svesna sam da je ovo baš posledica mog psihoterapijskog znanja i analize, ali šta ću! Borim se :) Evo još jednog predloga šta se može reći umesto te rečenice:

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3. How are you? (when you have passed the person, and are not looking at her anymore)

(this is characteristic for this part of the world, I think) You know the situation when you pass by a person you know, and while passing, you want to say something more, beside Hello. And then you ask "how are you?", even though you are not listening to the response, and are just going your own way. I know that I felt stupid when I asked that, as well as when I was being asked - when I realized that the person in question didn`t even tried to listen to my answer. Then I changed that "how are you?" into "are you well/OK?". It has a shorter answer, and more concrete, so hence a bigger point and sense in that question.

4. Everything will be OK!

I hate when people say that to me, or when they ask me to say that to them, because nobody can know whether something will be OK or not. When someone dear to me is sad or disappointed, I tend to say something like "you`ll survive that, you`ll manage somehow, it can be worse, I`m here for you, together it will be easier, rather that giving the guarantees for something that I don`t have. I`m aware that all this is a consequence of my pshychotherapy knowledge and analysis, but what can I do? I`m fighting :) Here`s another suggestion of what you can say:

5. Don`t cry! (kada si tužan i kad si već krenuo da plačeš)
Ovo je klasika. Kada si tužan suze su tu da te pročiste i često da kasnije umanje tugu. I to je zdravo! Ne vidim razloga zašto bih nekoga prekidala u nečemu što će mu samo pomoći, jer Bože moj, "suze su slabost". Ja zato uvek podstičem da se osoba isplače do kraja, da to nije sramota, i da će joj posle biti samo lakše. A još više mrzim kada neko kaže da je plakanje samo za decu ili slabiće...

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5. Don`t cry! (when you are sad and have already started to cry) 

This one is classic. When you are sad, tears are there to clean you from the inside, and to decrease your sadness a bit. And that`s healthy! I don`t see the point in interrupting a natural process which can only help a person, because, God, "tears are a sign of weakness". Therefore, I like to motivate a dear person to cry until the end of tears, because it will only be easier afterwards. I hate even more when someone says that crying is only for little children, or weak people...

Znate li vi za još neku besmislenu rečenicu? /////////// Do you know about any other pointless sentence?