What I have learned this month

1. Čak i kada misliš da nema dalje, i tad postoji neko rešenje, samo ako želiš da ga prihvatiš.

2. Da ko voli dobro da se provede, voli to do daljnjeg!

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1. Even when you think that there`s no further, there`s always a solution. Only if you want to accept it...

2. Who likes to have a good time, likes it, no matter what!

3. Da je realno funkcionalna i srećna porodica prava retkost. I ako si dovoljno srećan da imaš takvu, neguj i ceni tu sreću!

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3. That a realistically functional and happy family is a true rarity. If you are lucky enough to have one, embrace and appreciate that luck!

4. Da mi je kod proslave Nove godine sa godinama sve važnije dekorisanje i hrana koju ćemo imati, a sve manje gde ću je proslaviti. Dok god je ta proslava sa dragim ljudima... 

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4. That by years with New Year`s Eve it`s more and more important to me how I`ll decorate and we`ll eat, than how and where I`ll celebrate it. As long as it`s with the dear people...

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5. Da je pravu ljubav teško naći. No, kad je nađeš, gledaj da ti ne postane omiljena pesma ona "you don`t know what you got till it`s gone".

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5. That true love is hard to find. However, if you think you have found it be careful that your favourite song soon doesn`t become that "you don`t know what you got till it`s gone".

6. Da još uvek postoji puno pesama i muzičkih pravaca koji će mi srce dotaknuti. Onako jako, kako samo muzika to može!

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6. That there`s so many song and music genres left to warm my heart. On that strong and powerful way, like only music can do!

7. Da je bloggovanje divna stvar, u kojoj možeš upoznati toliko zanimljivih ljudi, puno istomišljenika, dobiti jaaako puno potrebne podrške, otkriti, deliti, dobiti, dati. Hvala vam što ste tu!

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7. That blogging is a wonderful thing, in which you can meet so many interesting people, gain so much of a needed support, discover. share, get, give. Thank you for being there!

Boogieman, children thieves and others from that gang ///////// Babaroga, kradljivci dece i ostali iz te ekipe

Month number 9, Task 2

Skoro sam sa momkom pričala o strahovima koje smo imali kad smo bili mali. Ni jedan ni drugi nismo nikad čak ni pomislili na nešto kao npr. Babarogu. Mene nisu plašili ni priče o njoj, ni filmovi, niti zastrašivanja. 

Sećam se da je kod sestre palila on klasična priča o ljudima koji idu ulicom i koji kradu malu decu ako neće da jedu. I ti ljudi su uvek bili neki "cigani"?! (Diskriminacija od ranih nogu or what?!) Elem, ja čak ni posle tih priča nisam htela da jedem. Hranu meni uterati u usta, bio je baš izazov :)

Momak kaže da se bojao nekakvog čudovišta za koje je verovao da živi u njegovom podrumu. Nije to bila Babaroga, niti je uopšte mogao da objasni njegov izgled, već samo osećaj da tu živi i da čeka samo njega. I pokušavao je on da odstrani taj strah, ali svaki put kada je izlazio napolje, bacio bi pogled na podrum i osećao kao da ga posmatra. Ili da samo njega čeka. I tako se moj junak hrabrio i hrabrio da se suoči sa njim, jer je video da od čekanja nema vajde. Skupi on hrabrost jedan dan, stisne dupe i otrči u podrum. Kad je otvorio vrata, viknuo je na sav glas: "Šta je? Ajdeee.. Ne možeš mi ništaaaaa." Mali on, sa 5-6 godina. A kaže da bi baš bila fora da je tada tu bio jedan lokalni čovek- lutalica, koji je običavao da ulazi u tuđe podrume da se ugreje... (I ako iz ovoga prethodnog niste zaključili da je moj moma još od malih nogu bio jedan neustrašivi i proaktivan deran, onda... pročitajte još jednom, ali pažljivije... :) ).

A ja sam imala ovaj strah: bila sam ubeđena da mene i sestru neko gleda noću dok spavamo. Inače smo živeli na prvom spratu, jedno 15m iznad zemlje, gde je bilo nemoguće da neko stoji na merdevinama i gleda nas kroz prozor, kao što sam ja zamišljala. I tako taj "neko" gleda kroz prozor, i ako vidi da se neka od nas dve pomera dok spava, shvatiće da tu nekog ima, ući će i... Taj sledeći deo nisam ni razradila, ali dovoljno je strašno bilo da neki stranac upadne u moju sobu. Zbog svega toga nikako nisam mogla da zaspim, ali sam se terala da se ne pomeram, jer "ne sme da vidi da tu nekoga ima". A znate ono kada razmišljate o tome kako da se namestite u krevetu, pa vam onda k'o za inat svaka poza dođe nezgodna. I baš morate da se okrenete! Pa onda ja kažem sebi da brojim do 10, pa ću se naglo okrenuti i suočiti sa tim da li nekoga ima na prozoru. 1, 2, 3... 10.. ajde još jednom... 1, 2, 3... 10... ajde sad do 20... I tako neko vreme, dok ne presečem i naglo pogledam u prozor. Kada se uverim da nema nikoga, sa dubokim izdahom se bacim nazad u krevet, i zaspim otprilike kao Mr Bean kad je brojao ovce :)

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Recently I was talking with my BF about the fears we had when we were little. None of us had feared from eg. famous Boogieman. I wasn`t scared of the stories about it, neither the movies, neither the intimidation of others with this creature.

I remember that my sister was afraid of the stories about the people who are wandering round the streets and are stealing little children who don`t eat. And those people were always the gypsies?! (Discrimination from the early ages or what?) Btw, even after those stories, I didn`t want to eat. To put food into my mouth was a proper mission :)

My BF says that he was afraid of some kind of a creature which was living in his basement. It wasn`t a Boogieman, and he couldn1t even explain the way he looks, but just the feeling that somebody is living there and is waiting just for him. And he was trying to get rid of that fear, but every time when he was going out, he looked at the basement, and he always felt as if someone is watching him. And as if someone is waiting only for him in that basement. And so my hero was encouraging himself from day to day, cause he realized that there`s no use of waiting. So, he caught a strength one day, and went straight to the basement.  He opened the door, and screamed from the top of his lungs: " Whaaaat?! Come oooon. What are you waiiiitiiiing foooor? I`m heeeereeee!" Little him, of 5-6 age. And he says that it would be interesting that one local vagabundo was there, who had a habit to go into people`a basements to warm himself... (And if you haven`t noticed from the previous mentioned what a fearless and proactive lad my BF is, then... Read again, more carefully :) ).

And I had this fear:  I was convinced that somebody is watching me and my sister while we are sleeping. Btw, we were living on the 1st floor, at least 15 above the ground, and it wasn`t possible at all that somebody could climb the ladder and watch us through the window, as I believed. Anyway, that "someone" is watching through the window, and if some of us two moves, he`ll notice that someone is in there, and he will.. Well, I didn`t work on that one, but it was enough fearful that some stranger could come into my room. And from all that I couldn`t fall asleep, but I was forcing myself not to move, because he`ll notice that somebody is in there. And you know that moment when you just can`t find the right position in the bed, and exactly then you must toss and turn all the time. Then I say to myself to count to 10, and then to turn around quickly and look at the window, whether somebody is there or not. 1, 2, 3... 10.. another turn... 1, 2, 3... 10.. now count to 20.. And I was doing like that for a while, until I suddenly cope, get up and look at the window When I`m convinced that there`s nobody there, with a deep exhale I fall back into bed, and fall asleep like Mr Bean when he was counting sheep :)

Sestra i ja smo imale neki strah da smo nezaštićene ako m i t zatvore vrata od naše sobe dok spavamo. Godinama smo spavale sa otvorenim vratima od naše i njihove sobe, dok je njihovo hrkanje otprilike bio mio zvuk, koji je ukazivao da su tu i da nam niko ne može ništa. Takav "mili zvuk" je baš pravi dokaz da je sve u našim glavama, ha?

Naravoučenije cele priče:

Ako neko pored vas hrče, vi zamišljajte kako je to znak da vam pored njega ne može niko ništa, i lakše ćete zaspati :)

PS - Čega ste se vi plašili?

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Sister and me had a fear that we were unprotected when Mom and Dad were closing the door of our room, while we were sleeping. For years we were sleeping with both our and their doors closed, while their snoring was like a sweet sound that was a sign that they were there and that nobody can do us no harm. That kind of  "sweet sound" is a proof that everything is in our heads, right?

The main conclusion of the whole story:

If somebody next to you is snoring, you imagine that it`s a sign that nobody can do you no harm, and you`ll fall asleep more easily :)

PS - What were your fears?

Mom, can I stay five more minutes? Pleeeeeeease!!!

Month number 9, Task 1

Koliko smo samo puta ponovili ovu rečenicu kad smo bili mali... Pao je mrak, treba se na unutra - još samo 5 minuta. U gostima smo porodično, ja se zaigrala sa drugaricom, a vreme je da se ide kući - još samo 5 minuta. Vreme je za spavanje, a ja se opet zaigrala - još samo 5 minuta. Pa onda ne možeš da dočekaš da se probudiš, kako bi nastavio sa igrom.  

Ranije su se svi igrali napolju. Lastiš, Vije, Žmurke, Janjine, Klikeranje, Care care gospodare, Između dve vatre, Ide maca oko tebe... Pa još kad nam se priključi neko od starijih u npr. Između dve vatre, i onda se takmičimo ko će u "jači tim". A i kad se biraju timovi, pa moliš Boga da ne ostaneš među poslednjima, jer ćeš se baš rastužiti i osećati neželjenim.

Pa kada zapneš i padneš i PONOVO dobiješ krastu. Možda ti automatski i krene suza, ali ti odmah ustaješ i nastavljaš dalje, jer ti u glavi odzvanja ono mamino utešno "Ma, nije to ništa. Deca i trebaju da padaju. Zarašće ti..." I hoće! I trebaju da padaju deca. Ustaće i nastaviće dalje! I iz svog iskustva će naučiti kako sledeći put da pažljivije trče, a ne iz nekih tuđih priča. 

Kao što rekoh, ranije smo se puno igrali napolju. Ali, meni nikada nije bilo dosadno ni unutra, samoj sa sobom. Naravno, kompjuter tada nije ni postojao. Divan dan je bio kada sam dobila mali kasetofon, pa sam mogla da puštam kasete i pravim koreografije, zamišljajući da sam na koncertu. A kada budem kažnjena pa ne smem napolje, nije ni to problem. U nedostatku drugarica, razapeću lastiš na dve stolice i one će mi zameniti ostale saigrače. Onda je tu faza kada već hoću da se igram mame ili učiteljice sa mlađom sestrom. Naravno, ja sam učiteljica, a ona đak. Pa sve na kućnoj tabli zadajem zadatke, a ona se pita kada ćemo završiti sa tom dosadnom igrom.

Pa onda dođu rođendani... Joooj, koliko mogućnosti. Ogovaranje, televizija, kompjuter - šta je to? Neeee.. Ima toliko igrica. Masne fote, Zanimljiva geografija, Ne ljuti se čoveče, Monopol, igranje Lambade ili šta je već u koje veme bilo popularno. Još kada su pre toga roditelji slavljenika pripremili tombolu, pa ti još na tuđem rođendanu dobiješ poklon!!

A danas? Kakvo je detinjstvo današnje dece? Poznajem nekoliko mladih majki koje gotovo svaki dan peru pod, brišu prašinu i sl., jer nije higijenski zbog deteta!!! I to Domestosom! A napolje dete ne ide baš puno, da se ne bi prehladilo. Da budem iskrena, ni nema sa kim tamo da se druži, jer je prazno. I tako se onda pitaju zašto su deca danas toliko bolešljiva. Pa možda zato što nemaju prilike gde i kako da postanu otporna na bakterije?! A ne d`o Bog da dete negde pokupi krastu! Iju, umreće!

O kompjuterima, Pink kulturi, celovečernjim izlascima već u osnovnoj školi, neću ni da pričam... No, da ne bih sada iz nostalgije previše počela da kritikujem današnje detinjstvo, bolje da vam na pozitivan način podstaknem nostalgiju.. 

Ovako smo se mi igrali:

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*Note: I don`t know if people from outside the Balkans are acquainted with all the children games from the photos below, but I`ll be happy to explain them to the ones interested. And to hear about the games you were playing when you were young...

How many time did we repeat this sentence from the subject when we were young... It`s getting dark, I should get inside - 5 more minutes. With my parents I`m at their friends` house, I`m playing with other children, but it`s time to get home - 5 more minutes. It`s time for bed, but I want to play a little bit more - 5 more minutes. And then you can`t wait to get up, to continue with playing.

When we were young, the children were outside all the time. Hide and seek, Marbles, French skipping and other outdoor games. And when someone older join us, and then you compete to be in his/her team. And when teams are being  made, and you pray to the Lord to be picked by someone, and not to stay among the last ones, because you`ll feel rejected and not wanted.

And when you stumble and fall, and you get a scrape AGAIN. Maybe automatically a tear goes down, but you are getting up and continuing, because in your head you have a mother`s conforting "It`s nothing serious. Childen fall very often and get scrapes. It will heal!" And it will. Children should fall and get scrapes. They`ll get up and go on. And they will learn from their own experience how to run more carefully, and not just from the stories of the adult.

As I`ve said, we were playing outdoors a lot. However, I was not bored when I was in the house, all by myself. Of course, the computer didn`t exist back then. A lovely day was when I got a cassette player, so I could play all my favourite artists and make coreographies, as if I was at the concert stage. And when I was grounded and was forbidden to go out, it`s not a problem. Instead of other players in French skipping, I`ll use two chairs and put french elastics around them. Then comes the phase of playing moms and daughters, or teachers, with a younger sister. Of course, I`m a teacher. And while I`m giving the assignments on the chalkboard, the sister`s wondering: when does this boring game end?

And then came the birthday parties. Computers, television, gossiping - what`s that? Nooo.. There were so many games that we could played. Spin the bottle, Monopolly, dancing Lambada or what else music was popular then. And when parents of the birthday child had prepared a bingo for the party, so you get a present on somebody else`s birthday!! Could it get any better?

And today? What is the childhood like today? I know so many young mothers who are dusting and cleaning floors every day, because otherwise it`s not hygienic for the child. They do that with Domestos or something like that, every day! And the child is not going outside very much, so that it doesn`t catch a cold. To be honest, even if the child is getting out, it wouldn`t have anyone to play with. And then they are wondering why the children of today are so weak and sick all the time. Maybe because they don`t have the opportunity to get adapted to all the bacteria. And God forbid if they het a scrape sometimes. Oh my God, they could die!

Of computers, Pink television (national kitch television) and culture, going out for the whole night at the age of 12/13, I don`t even want to start talking.. So, in order not to get to too critical from all the nostalgy, lets insent that nostalgy with something positive.

This is how we were playing:

Sve preuzeto sa Dobra stara vremena

Top 5 confessions of mine

Month number 8, Task 6

1. Jaaaako sam analitična. Čak i kad spavam, ja u stvari dremam, jer mozak ne zna da miruje. Nije lako, verujte!

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1. I am overanalytic. Even when I sleep, I`m actually napping, because my brain don`t know how to be still. It`s not easy, believe me!

2. Više volim ljude koji bi da se svađaju, ili koji imaju problem sa besom, od onih koji "izbegavaju konflikte". Ovi prvi su barem iskreni, iako previše...

3. Prilično volim sebe. Ponekad sa sve manama...

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2. I even prefer people who like fighting or who are angry, to the ones who are "avoiding conflicts". The first ones are at least honest, even though too much...

3. I pretty much love myself. Sometimes with all the flaws...

4. Jaaako sam povredljiva. Vrlo često u stomaku već osećam fiziološku manifestaciju povređenosti, pre nego što i uspem da u glavi obradim uzrok. Znam da to nije dobro, i često za povređenošću nema ni potrebe, pa sam godinama uspela da barem u nekim situacijama ne pokažem "šta to osećam u stomaku" :)

5. Uporna sam i jaka u krizama. Momak kaže da imam višak muških hormona, a ja volim da mislim da sam tu snagu iz iskustva stekla.

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4. I get hurt easily. Very often I feel physiological manifestation of feeling of hurt even before I manage to analyze in my head the cause. I know it`s not good, because often there`s no need to feel hurt, so by years I have managed to sometimes hide what I`m "feeling in the stomach" :)

5. I`m very strong and strong in crisis. My boyfriend says it`s because I have sufficiency of male hormons, but I like to think that I have gained that strength from the experience.

Na kraju ovog posta, vreme je da zadam sebi zadatak za sledeći mesec. Pošto mi je jako prijalo da se vratim u detinjstvo dok sam pisala ovaj post, tema sledećeg meseca će biti: DETINJSTVO. Plan mi je da se vratim u detinjstvo i pišem o svojim strahovima, omiljenim receptima, tajnama ili nečemu drugom sličnom za čim srce ište u datom trenutku. Nadam se da će vam se svideti...

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At the end of this post, I should give myself the task for the next month. Since I was enjoying so much in going back to the childhood, while writing this post, the topic for next month will be: CHILDHOOD. The plan is to go back to my childhood and to write about fears, secrets, favourite recipes or anything else that my heart is yearning for in the moment of writing. I hope you`ll enjoy...

What I have learned this month...

1. Da u svojim tridesetim godinama retko ko može biti konstantno "cveće proleće", i da oni koji forsiraju takvu priču, obično puno toga skrivaju iza.

2. Da je vikend suviše kratak da bi ga proveli u dosadi! Baš kao i život!

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1. That in one`s 30s barely who can be cheerful and smiling 24/7, and that the ones who are emphasizing such behaviour are usually hiding a lot behind it.

2. That weekend is too short to spend it in boredom. As well as the life!

3. Da mi jedan prirodan sok dnevno baš pomaže, po pitanju metabolizma i čišćenja organizma. Nije mi teško da ga ručno cedim, kada znam kakvo me čulno zadovoljstvo iščekuje. Moja dobitna kombinacija je: dve pomorandže i jedna grejp, bez razređivanja vodom. Voće obavezno držati u frižideru!

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3. That one natural juice a day is really helping me, in good metabolism and organism cleansing. It`s not hard to squeeze it manually everyday, when I know what sense pleasure is waiting me. My winning combination is: two oranges and one grape. With no added water. Keep the fruit in the fridge to be more refereshing!

4. Da mi je muzičko otkriće ovog meseca definitivno stranica 8tracks, za koju sam saznala od jedne od mojih omiljenih blogerki Mali Iv. Napokon sam dobila priliku da sama kreiram svoje liste, dajem im simbolična imena i isto tako simbolične slike. Ovo je neka vrsta online Internet radija, na kojem sami kreirate svoju "stanicu", ili slušate tuđe, tražeći odgovarajuće tagove.

5. Da u životu nije sve baš "Bogom dano" i da ćemo pravu sreću postići ako prihvatimo tu činjenicu.

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4. That my musical discovery of the month was definitely 8tracks page, which was recommended by one of my favourite bloggers Mali Iv. I have finally got the opportunity to create my own playlists, to give them symbolic names and pictures. This is kind of Internet radio, on which you create the station on your own, or you listen to other`s choices, by searching the chosen tags.

5. That in life not everything is "God given", and that real happiness we`ll earn only if we accept the latter said.

6. Da što smo stariji vreme zaista sve brže prolazi, te postaje sve bitnije kako provodimo te kratke trenutke.

Šta ste vi naučili ovog meseca?

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6. That as older as we get, the time really passes faster, and it becomes more and more important how we spend those short moments.

What have you learned?

Top 5 ironies of life

Month number 8, Task 5

1. Odseliš se u inostranstvo da bi bolje živeo, i onda jedva čekaš godišnji odmor da bi što pre došao svoju rodnu grudu i potrošio sve pare.

2. Roditelji ti kupe stan, i mesečno ti pomažu, da bi ti bio nezavisan i samostalan.

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1. You move abroad in search for a better life, and then you can`t wait to have free days so that you could go back to you home country and spend all the money there.

2. Parents buy you the apartment, and they help you on monthly basis, so that you could be independent.

3. Seći drveće, praviti papir i na njemu pisati "Sačuvajmo drveće, sačuvajmo planetu".

4. Voleti pravu osobu u pogrešno vreme, i pogrešnu osobu u pravo vreme.

5. Imati malo vremena, a toliko toga za uraditi. Imati puno vremena, a nemati pojma šta sa njim!

Toliko je još ironija, ali ovo je ipak Top 5 :)

Još jedna dobra:

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3. People cut the trees, produce the paper, and then write "Save the trees, save the planet" on that paper.

4. Love the right person in the wrong time, and wrong person at the right time.

5. To have little time, and lot of things to do. To have a lot of time, and don`t know what to do with it.

There are so many other ironies, but the topic is Top 5 :)

Another good one:

Koje su vaše najveće životne ironije? ///// What are your biggest life ironies?

Top 5 memories from my childhood

Month number 8, Task 4

1. Uveliko je prošlo 9h, sestra i ja smo u krevetu. Meni se ne spava, ona bi po obicaju i mogla. Mama i tata gledaju tv u dnevnoj sobi, a i ja bih. Ustajem, sestra me naravno prati iza, i dolazim do trpezarijskog stola i stolica, pa se tu nas dve sakrivamo i kikoćemo, dok kroz stolice gledamo mamu i tatu u dnevnoj sobi. Tu smo, a oni ni ne znaju. Jaoj, kako smo pametne... Tata kaže mami "Radice, ova naša deca spavaju, ha?" A mi se još glasnije zakikoćemo, misleći "kako smo ih zeznule". Pa onda usledi najlepši trenutak večeri, kada nas tata pozove da im se ipak priključimo ispred TVa, i svi zaboravimo da je već prošlo predviđeno vreme spavanja za nas dve. 

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1. It`s already passed 9, sister and me are in bed. I`m not into sleeping, but my sister wouldn`t mind. Mom and dad are watching TV in the living room. I would like to also... I`m getting up, my sister is following me, of course. We are coming to the dining room table, and are hiding behind the chairs, giggling, while watching Mom and Dad through the chairs. We are here, and they even don`t know it. Wow, how smart are we! Dad is saying to Mom "Radice (her name), our children are sleeping, right?" And we giggle even louder, thinking "God, have we screwed them up, or what?". And then comes the best part of the night, when Dad calls us to join them in front of the TV, and we all forget that bedtime has already passed.

2. Nedelja, rano veče. Sestra i ja smo zajedno u kadi punoj vode i sapunice. Toliko smo male, da bi još jedno dete moglo da stane sa nama. Mama i tata nas kupaju. Svi nasmejani. Nas dve jer nam prija topla voda, i tu su naši roditelji zaštitnici. Mama i tata jer su dovoljno sazreli da mogu da shvate da je to jedan od najlepših i najčistijih momenata koji su doživeli.

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2. Sunday, early evening. Sister and me are in the bathtub, full of water and soap. We are so small, that one more child could fit with us. Mom and Dad are bathing us. Everybody is smiling. The two of us because we like warm water, and our parents protectors are here. Mom and Dad because they are mature enough to realize that this is one of the most precious moments they have ever experienced.

3. Ponoć je prošla, ja bih uveliko trebala da spavam kao i svi moji ukućani. Za par sati ustajemo i krećemo na letovanje u Grčku. Ma ko će sad spavati od ovog uzbuđenja?! Jel znate vi kakva sve uživanja mene čekaju u narednih 10 dana? Kupaću se, ješću giros, sladoled sa iznenađenje igračkicom na dnu kutije, igraću Pacmana u igraonici, i mama i tata će mi kupovati kojekakve đinđuve. A možda dobijem i neke sandalice od svih onih koje uporno probavam u svakoj prodavnici na šetalištu. Bože, ima li veće sreće?!

4. Putujemo na more našim Yugom. Ja ni ne znam da postoje bolja kola, a i šta će nam. Dovoljno su velika da nas dve legnemo jedna pored druge pozadi, i da satima spavamo kao da smo u svom krevetu. Ja nisam ni svesna da ću jednog dana biti veliki protivnik pušenja. Ono što znam je da me prožmu sva najlepša osećanja sveta kada me probudi blagi dim maminih najslabijih cigareta, jer svaki put kada sam prethodnih godina to osećala, posle su usledili dani uživanja na moru. Meni je samo ta veza dovoljna, ja ne znam za dalje analize.

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3. It`s already passed midnight, and I should be sleeping like the rest of my family. In a few hours we are getting up and heading of to Greece. Who could sleep now from all this excitement? Do you know what kind of different enjoyments are waiting for me? I`ll be swimming, eating gyros, icecream with the surprise toy, I`ll play Pacman, and Mom and Dad will be buying all kind of jewelry, small toys and other similar things. And maybe I`ll get some sandals, of the many I`ll be trying in every shop and the main pedestrian walkway. God, is there any bigger happiness?!

4. We are travelling by our Yugo. I don`t even know that there`s bigger and better car, and why should I. It`s big enough for both of my sister and me to lay down in the back, and to sleep for hours as if we were in our own bed. I`m not even aware that one day I`ll be so much against smoking. The thing I know is that all kinds of beautiful emotions runs through me when I`m woken up by Mom`s light smoke of the cigarette, because every time I felt that in the previous years, some good days of enjoyment would come. That connection is enough for me, I don`t know about any further analysis.

5. Raspust je, već par dana sam kod babe na selu. Bunim se što moramo da idemo kod babe, ali sam svesna da kad već odem tamo ja u stvari uživam. Baba stalno predlaže sa kim bi mogla da me upozna, da se igramo, ali ja neću. Ne zato što nisam društvena, nego zato što mi je ovako lepo. Ne mogu da ustanem ujutru od svežeg vazduha, tišine i utopljenosti  u veliki perjani jastuk. Kad ustanem, ne znam koju pre želju za hranu baba da mi ispuni. Pa mi onda malo i bude žao što nisam neka "ješna", jer bi baba vola da peče, a ja bih samo mekanu kiflu sa domaćim sirom i paradajzom, savijaču, ili makarone pržene na masti, pa onda pomešane sa domaćim sirom. Eventualno i palačinke, pa onda ukrug. Da li ću onda da gledam tv, ili da igram lastiš, ili da pravim koreografije uz muziku? Šta pre?! Dok baba ne dođe sa sledećim pitanjima za hranu i kolače, i sa punom šakom sitniša, da odem u prodavnicu i kupim neki slatkiš.. Ili greb-greb srećkicu usput.

Imala sam baš divno detinjstvo....

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5. It`s school holiday, and for a few days already I`m at my grandmas`, in the countryside. I`m protesting every time when we have to go, but I`m also aware that every time when I go there, I enjoy myself. Grandma is constantly suggesting to whom she could introduce me to play with, but I don`t want to. Not because I`m not sociabile, but because I like it this way. In the morning I can`t wake up from all the fresh air, silence and my drowning in the big feather pillow. When I get up, my grandma don`t know which of my meal wishes to realize for me. And then sometimes I feel sorry for not being that much of a big food lover, because she would like to roast a veal for me and such, and I would only like a soft  roll with homemade cheese and tomato, or some homemade pastery, or mac fryed on fat, and then mixed with homemade cheese. Maybe even pancakes, and that`s it. So, will I watch TV afterwards, or make dance coreographies to music or play come children games? What first?! Until grandma comes with questions about next meals, cakes and cookies. And with hand full of coins for me to go to the store and buy candies, and maybe a lottery ticket on the way..

I had the best childhood...

Top 5 pointless sentences! //// Top 5 bespotrebnih rečenica!

Month number 8, Task 2

1. Nisi trebao/la (za poklon za rođendan ili npr. svadbu).

Jedno je kada znaš da neko nema para, a kupi ti veliki poklon, pa ti zaista misliš da nije trebao TOLIKO da se troši. Ali, kada ti neko dođe na rođendan, ili još gore - na svadbu, pa ti kažeš da nije trebao uopšte da se troši, e to je već radi reda. Kreni prvo od sebe - sigurno ni ti sam/a me bi išao na nečiji rođendan/svadbu praznih ruku. Osnovna kultura je poneti barem čokoladu ili neko najjeftinije vino. I čemu onda ta "radi reda" rečenica?!

2. Ja samo kažem...

Ufff, na ovu sam posebno osetljiva. Znate ono kada se svađate sa nekim, pa vam ta druga osoba kaže nešto što vas uvredi i vi joj kažete da vas je uvredila, a ona će: "Štooo? Ja samo kaže..." Šta to uopšte znači? Sigurno nije otpevala, pitala, već je KAZALA!

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1. You shouldn`t have! (for a present on birthday/wedding)

One thing is when you know that someone don`t have much money, and he/she has bought you an expensive present, so you honestly think that he/she SHOULDN`T HAVE spend so much money. However, something completely different is when someone comes to you brithday party, or worse - wedding (and in our country it`s rude to come empty-handed), and you say that he/she shouldn`t have spent money on you. Well, that you don`t mean, but rather you are saying pointless stuff. Start with yourself - you wouldn`t let yourself go to a birthday/wedding party empty-handed. It`s basic culture (at least in Serbia) to bring at least a chocolate or the cheapest wine. And why then that pointless sentence?!

2. I`m just saying!

Arghhh, I`m especially sensitive to this sentence. You know the situation when you argue with somebody, and the other person says something offensive to you. And when you point that, he/she is like "whyyyyy? I`m just saying!". What does that mean exactly? For sure he/she didn`t sing it, ask, but was SAYING!

3. Kako si? (kad si već prošao osobu i ni ne gledaš je više)

Znate onu situaciju kada prođete neku osobu koju znate i želite da joj usput kažete još nešto pored "zdravo"? Pa onda usledi ono "kako si?", iako ni ne slušaš šta ti odgovori, već nastaviš svojim putem. Ja znam da sam se osećala glupo i kad sam to pitala, pa samo produžila, a još gore i kad me je neko pitao, a ja kao budala odgovorila, tek posle shvativši da ta osoba nije ni čula moj odgovor. Onda sam to "kako si?" promenila u "jel si dobro?". Iziskuje kraći i konkretniji odgovor, a povećava šansu da zaista čuješ odgovor, pa da automatski tvoje pitanje i ima smisla.

4. Sve će biti u redu!

Mrzim kad mi to kažu, ili kad zahtevaju da to ja kažem, a niko ne može znati da li sve hoće ili neće biti u redu. Ja kada tešim neku dragu osobu, više volim da kažem nešto poput "izdržaćeš, preguraćeš, može i gore, tu sam za tebe, zajedno je lakše", nego da dajem garancije za nešto što niko nema. Svesna sam da je ovo baš posledica mog psihoterapijskog znanja i analize, ali šta ću! Borim se :) Evo još jednog predloga šta se može reći umesto te rečenice:

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3. How are you? (when you have passed the person, and are not looking at her anymore)

(this is characteristic for this part of the world, I think) You know the situation when you pass by a person you know, and while passing, you want to say something more, beside Hello. And then you ask "how are you?", even though you are not listening to the response, and are just going your own way. I know that I felt stupid when I asked that, as well as when I was being asked - when I realized that the person in question didn`t even tried to listen to my answer. Then I changed that "how are you?" into "are you well/OK?". It has a shorter answer, and more concrete, so hence a bigger point and sense in that question.

4. Everything will be OK!

I hate when people say that to me, or when they ask me to say that to them, because nobody can know whether something will be OK or not. When someone dear to me is sad or disappointed, I tend to say something like "you`ll survive that, you`ll manage somehow, it can be worse, I`m here for you, together it will be easier, rather that giving the guarantees for something that I don`t have. I`m aware that all this is a consequence of my pshychotherapy knowledge and analysis, but what can I do? I`m fighting :) Here`s another suggestion of what you can say:

5. Don`t cry! (kada si tužan i kad si već krenuo da plačeš)
Ovo je klasika. Kada si tužan suze su tu da te pročiste i često da kasnije umanje tugu. I to je zdravo! Ne vidim razloga zašto bih nekoga prekidala u nečemu što će mu samo pomoći, jer Bože moj, "suze su slabost". Ja zato uvek podstičem da se osoba isplače do kraja, da to nije sramota, i da će joj posle biti samo lakše. A još više mrzim kada neko kaže da je plakanje samo za decu ili slabiće...

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5. Don`t cry! (when you are sad and have already started to cry) 

This one is classic. When you are sad, tears are there to clean you from the inside, and to decrease your sadness a bit. And that`s healthy! I don`t see the point in interrupting a natural process which can only help a person, because, God, "tears are a sign of weakness". Therefore, I like to motivate a dear person to cry until the end of tears, because it will only be easier afterwards. I hate even more when someone says that crying is only for little children, or weak people...

Znate li vi za još neku besmislenu rečenicu? /////////// Do you know about any other pointless sentence?

Top 5 beliefs to lose your boyfriend/girlfriend ///// Top 5 uverenja da izgubite svog momka/devojku

Month number 8, task 1

*pisala sam sve u ženskom rodu jer me je mrzelo da pišem duplo: momak/devojka, nju/njega. Naravno, ovo sve važi za oba pola. //////////// * I was writing in female gender, because I was tired to write everything in double: boyfriend/girlfriend, him/her... Of course, everything relates to both genders.

Ako imate momka, i želite da ga izgubite, ovo su uverenja koja će vam u tome pomoći. Ako pak nemate momka, i ne želite da ga nađete, opet se podsetite nekih od svojih uverenja koja vam u tome pomažu...

1. Biću potpuna tek kada nađem nekoga. Ako sama sa sobom nisi ok, i nisi ostvarena, ne postoji niko ko to može popuniti - osim tebe same. Tako samo možeš stvoriti još veću zavisnost od njega, a on dobija na negativnoj strani moći.

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If you have a boyfriend, and you want to lose him, these are the beliefs that will help you. If you, on the other hand, don`t have a boyfriend, and you don`t want to find him, it`s good to remind yourself of what is helping you in that....

1. I`ll be complete only when I find somebody. If you are not OK with yourself, and you are not self-fullfilled, there`s nobody who can complete you - but yourself. That way you could only get more addicted to him, more insecure, and he`ll get more of that negative side of power.

2. On tako NE SME da se ponaša. Ili: ja se ovako ponašam, znači mora i on tako. Epa, cvrc! Sigurno se svako od nas našao u situaciji da je očekivao recipročnost u odnosu sa dragom osobom, kad ono - međutim. Možda nije lepo da se tako ponaša, i bilo bi dobro da nam uzvrati istom merom, ali dešava se da ne bude sve po našim očekivanjima. Ono što možemo da uradimo u toj situaciji je da vidimo šta ćemo mi sa tim. Suočiti se, ukazati, ili nervirati se i čekati dan kada će taj obrazac u njegovom ponašanju krenuti da bude onakav kakav bi mi voleli.

3. Ako trebam da radim na tome da održim ljubav, onda ona nije prava. Kao i sve u životu, ni ljubav nije data sama od sebe. Barem ne kasnije. Super je kad smo zaljubljeni i kada je sve "cveće proleće". Ali, prava ljubav dolazi tek kasnije. Ona možda nije tako filmska kao zaljubljenost, ali je dugotrajna, prožimajuća i daje nam sigurnost i razumevanje koja nam treba kod partnera. Šta će vam više?!

4. Prošli momak/devojka me je povredio, sigurno će i ova/j. Pa bolje onda da se ne upuštam u vezu, jer samo tako mogu imati garanciju da me niko neće povrediti. A život mi je inače obećao da ću za sve imati garanciju, pa...

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2. He CAN NOT act like that. Or: I behave like this, so he MUST behave like that too. Well, no, honey, no! Sure eachof you have found yourself in the situation when you were expecting the reciprocity in the relationship with someone close to you, when it didn`t turn out like that. Maybe it`s not nice of him to act like that, and it would be good that he gives you the same in return, but not everything is happening according to your expectations. The thing you can do is to decide what will YOU do with that. Face it, tell him and show him! Or get disappointed and enraged, and wait the day when he`ll finally start behaving completely the way you would like to. Maybe you`ll live to see that day :)

3. If I have to work on keeping the love, that it`s not the real one. Like everything else in life, love is also not just given. At least not later. It`s great when you are in love and everything is all "hearts and flowers". However, true love comes a bit later. It`s maybe not as movie-like as a crush, but it`s longlasting, fullfilling and it gives you the security and understanding that you need from a partner. What else do you need?

4. My ex-boyfriend hurt me, so this one will sure do the same. So, it`s better not to involve in any relationship, because only then I`ll have a guarantee that nobody will hurt me. Because life promised me guarantees for everything, so....

5. Kad se udam/oženim, ode moja sloboda. Oduvek sam se divila bračnim parovima koji i dalje ponekad izađu, ili npr. još sa malom bebom putuju. Mnogo smo mi današnji mladi razmaženi, sebični i često nerealni. I pravimo od normalnih stvari bauka. Zaljubi se, udaj se, rađaj, uživaj. Ako osećaš da ti je možda vreme, nemoj produbljivati analizama i stvarati nove strahove - just do it! Tako samo postoji šansa da shvatiš ovo:

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6. When I get married, there goes my freedom. I`ve always admired marriage couples who still like to go out sometimes, to travel with the baby, etc. I mean, we young people of today, are in a way spoiled, selfish and often not real. We tend to make issues from the smallest things. Fall in love, get married, give a birth, enjoy. If you feel that it`s time to do it, and that you want it, don`t over-analyze it and make new fears - just do it! That way there`s a chance to realize this:

A i ako ne uspe, Bože moj.. Znaćeš da si probala...

A ako ipak želite da doživite vrhunac ljubavi, i ne bojite se toga, težite ka ovome:

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And if it doesn`t work out, it`s ok.. You`ll know that you have tried...

And if you want to live to the peak of love, don`t be afraid. Just aim to this:

What I have learned this month... ///// Šta sam naučila ovog meseca...

Sara sa bloga Enjoying the epiphany mi je dala odličnu ideju da na kraju svakog meseca sumiram šta sam to (za mene) korisno naučila. Ona to radi svake nedelje, i ja joj se zbog toga divim...

Prethodnog meseca naučila sam:

1. da me prvi utisak o nekoj osobi zaista ne vara, i da sam prilično dobra u proceni drugih ljudi. Šteta što sam i ovaj put morala to da shvatim kroz loše utiske o nekome  :(

2. da nema lepšeg osećaja od toga da posle napornog ili tužnog dana, dođeš svojoj kući i ugledaš voljenu osobu. S tim u vezi, jedna simbolična pesma:

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Sraah from blog Enjoying the epiphany gave me excellent idea to sum up at the end of the month everything useful that I have learned (useful for me). She is doing that every week, and I admire her for that..

So, previous month I learned:

1. that my first impression of a person usually doesn`t disappoint me. It`s a pity that once again I had to prove that to myself through some bad impressions on somebody :(

2. that there`s no better feeling of the when, after a hard or sad day, you come back home and see your loved one. Connected to that, one symbolic song:

3. da me ljudska glupost i površnost pogađaju više nego što sam to mislila.

4. da je američki šou The Voice najbolji od te fele, i da je Christina Aguliera ipak lik i prava diva.

5. da je muzika poput one od Bon Iver-a zaista bogata i prijatna, i da za nju treba sazreti da bi mogao maksimalno da uživaš.

6. da je divno kada minimalno analiziraš i kada se ne opterećuješ sitnicama, ali je to vrlo često teško održati, naročito ako si sklon analizama.

7. da je palenta u kuhinji nepresušan izvor inspiracije u receptima.

8. da su ovo najbolje vežbe za trbušnjake ikada!

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3. that human stupidness and superficiality bother me more than I thought.

4. that USA show The Voice is the best one of that kind, and that Christina Aguilera is one real and big diva!

5. that music such as from Bon Iver is reallly rich and pleasant, and that for it you must get mature in order to maximally enjoy it.

6. that it`s great when you analyze something only on minimal basis, and you don`t obsess yourself with the little things. But sometimes is hard to keep that, especially if you tend to analyze.

7. that polenta is an endless source for inspiration in the kitchen.

8. that these are the best ab workouts ever!

Puno je još toga što sam naučila, ali ostaviću nešto za sledeći mesec. /////// I learned a lot of other things too, but I`ll leave something for the next time.

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Još pre neki dan sam uspešno završila još jedan mesec svog projekta. Da, i dalje mi se baš, baš piše na razne teme, ali ne želim da taj zadatak produžavam još treći mesec. Barem ne u toj formi, barem ne sada. I zato mi je na pamet pala nova tema - takođe vezana za pisanje, ali sa malo konkretnijim odrednicama: " Top five mesec". Ne, to nisu top five teme a la Cosmo i slično, već neka moja razmišljanja, organizovana u formu "Top 5". Pa, videćemo kako će sve to ispasti. Ako imate neki predlog Top 5-a, pišite. Moja tastatura je spremna :)

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A few days ago I finished another month of my project. Yes, I`m still in the mood for writing on different topics, but I don`t want to do the same third month in a row. At least not in that form, at least not now. That`s why a new topic came to my mind - again it is about wiriting, but with some more concrete directions: "Top 5 month". No, it`s not about a la Cosmo top five topics, but more about my thoughts about some things, organized in a Top 5 form. We`ll see how it`ll turn out. If you have a suggestion concerning some Top 5 topics, please help. My keyboard is ready :)

People and conflicts //////////// Ljudi i konflikti

Month number 7, Task 6

... ili tačnije: ljudi i izbegavanje konflikata. Nešto što mislim da me najviše nervira kod ljudi je kada kažu rečenice tipa: "Bolje da ćutim (da ne govorim šta mislim), da ne bih upala u konflikt. Ne volim da se prepirem!".

Ne znam odakle da krenem sa objašnjavanjem koliko je ovakav stav pogrešan... Prvo, zar nije razmena mišljenja/dijalog ono što čini osnovu neke zdrave komunikacije?! Mislim, ja volim puno da pričam, ali najviše mrzim kada postavljam pitanja, podstičem razgovor, pa ipak odem kući sa utiskom da sam udavila i samu sebe, a kamoli ćutljivog i mutavog sagovornika. Monolozi nikome ne prijaju!

Pa ti neodređeno odgovaraju, a ti si npr. u problemu i treba ti reakcija, bilo kakva. Ufff...

Pored ovih, postoje i ljudi koji ni nemaju svoje mišljenje, i koji podilaze sagovorniku i njegovom stavu, samo da se ne bi sukobili. Zaista ne znam šta je od ta dva gore?! Pa ti u početku možda i prija takvo ponašanje sagovornika jer misliš kako si u pravu za sve što si pričao, ali kad shvatiš da je svo vreme u stvari tebi podilazio i nije iznosio svoje mišljenje, onda se zapitaš: da li vredi bilo šta od onoga što sam rekao?!

Zašto bi razmena čak i suprotnih mišljenja uvek morala da se završi konfliktom? Vrlo često ti samo možeš bolje upoznati tu drugu osobu, ili barem produbiti neka svoja funkcionalna uverenja!

Da vam pravo kažem, ja više volim ljude koji ovako izbegavaju konflikte, nego one koji vas kao slušaju, ali se ne izjašanjavaju:

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... or, to be more precise: people and avoiding of conflicts. Something that I think irritates me the most is when people say something like: "I better keep my mouth shut (not share my opinion), so that I could not get into a conflict. I don`t like to get into a fight!".

I mean, I don`t know where to start with explaining of how this kind of thinking is wrong. First, isn`t the exchange of opinion/the dialogue something that is the basis of healthy communication with others? I mean, I love to talk a lot sometimes, but the thing that I resent most is when I go home with the impression that I have suffocated myself with the talking, and not just the quiet and numb interlocutor. Nobody likes monologues!

And then, when they are vaguely answering, and you are in a problem and really need a feedback. Any feedback! Arghhhh...

Beside these people, there are those who even don`t have their opinion, but rather say and think what you are thinking, only not to get in conflict. I really don`t know what is worse from these two?! And with this letter you maybe are enjoying in the start, when you have a feeling that you are right with everything you say. However, when you realize that all the time the other party was outflanking and wasn`t giving his/her opinion, you really wonder: is it worth anything that I have said?!

Why does everything that we say have to result with a conflict? Very often you can just get to know other person better, or at least to deepen your functional beliefs.

To be honest, I prefer people who avoid conflicts this way, rather than the ones who are listening to you sober, and not giving any feedback:

Jer sve ove prethodno opisane ja svrstavam u grupu ljudi popularno znanih kao "nit` smrdi nit` miriše", a tih se najviše treba kloniti.

Ja mislim da konflikti nekad mogu biti i konstruktivni, ako mi odlučimo da ih kao takve vidimo. I da izvučemo neke zaključke iz njih.

I ne zaboravite: nije eventualan sukob mišljenja ono što treba da izbegavate. U pitanju je nešto drugo:

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Because, all the previously described people I put in a category of the people know as "neither stinks, neither smells good (direct translation for Serbian saying)", and from those one should get away the most.

I think that conflicts sometimes can also be constructive, only if we decide to see them as such. And to get some conclusions from them.

And don`t forget: it`s not a conflict of opinions the thing that you should avoid. It`s something else:

I zato, bolje radite na svojoj neverbalnoj i asertivnoj komunikaciji, nego što izbegavate razmenu mišljenja!

Ostajte mi dobro i nemojte ćutati :)

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That`s why you should better work on your non-verbal and assertive communication more, rather that on avoiding the exchange of opinion!

Stay well and better not keep your mouth shut :)

Humans - always dissatisfied with something! ///// Čovek je nekad proklet!

Month number 7, Task 5

Ovaj post je inspirisan postom koji je Bitchy dust napisala o tome kako biti sretan. Ja ću se nadovezati i pričati više o tome kako su ljudi stalno nezadovoljni. Jednom rečju o tome kako je čovek proklet!

Kada dođe leto - super! Napokon je otoplilo. Ali, sad je već previše toplo, kad će više kiša da nas rashladi! Kada padne kiša - uf, hoću nazad sunce i toplo vreme!

Kada smo tužni, mislimo kako bi nam mnogo lakše bilo kada bi oko nas bili srećni ljudi, pa "da barem malo podelimo tu sreću". A kada nam neko onda priča o svojoj sreći, ne možemo da je podnesemo jer nam naša tuga onda padne još teže.

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This post was inspired by the post of Bitchy dust, where she was writing about how to be happy. I`ll write in addition to it, about how people are always dissatisfied with something. In one word, how humans are damned!

When summer come s- great! Finally it got warm. However, now it`s too warm - God , give us some rain! When it finally rains -ooops, I want the Sun and warm weather back.

When we are sad, we are thinking about how good it would be if around us there were more happy people, so that we "could share their happiness". And when someone is talking about their happiness, then we can`t stand it because our sadness seems even harder then.

Kada je čovek dugo sam, pa razmišlja kako bi sve dao samo da ponovo bude srećan u ljubavi. Pa kada napokon to ostvari, e onda mu smeta što nema vremena za sebe. Kada je dugo bez posla pa mu ništa neće biti teško samo da se zaposli. A kada se zaposli: "što sad moram ovako rano da ustajem, ovako puno da radim, ovako malo da zarađujem".

Kada smo mladi, razmišljamo samo o danu kada ćemo se osamostaliti i živeti "svoj život". A kada se osamostalimo, prisećamo se kako nam je lepo bilo sa roditeljima i kako bi lepo bilo da je mama tu da nam skuva, da malo počisti stan, da tata da koji dinar.

Kada roditelji odgajaju decu tako retko hvale svoju decu za ono što su dobro uradili, a tako lako kritikuju. Jer dobro se podrazumeva, a loše nikako ne sme da se desi!

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When a person is alone for a long time, he/she is thinking how he/she would give everything to be happy in love again. And when that finally happens, then he/she is bothered by how little time he/she has for oneself. When we are long without a job, we are thinking how nothing would be difficult if only we could get a job. And when we are hired: "why do I have to get up so early every day? why do I have to work every day? why do I earn so little?".

When we are young we are thinking about a day when we will emancipate and start to live our own life. And when we got emancipated, we reminisce about the days when out mother was cleaning for us, cooking for us, when our Dad was giving us money.

When parents are raising the children they rarely praise them (at least in Serbia), but easily are critizing them. Because, the good is expected by itself, but the bad CAN NOT happen!

O državi i vođenju politike ne znam da li i da komentarišem.. Na Balkanu je inače popularno kukati i stalno biti nezadovoljan!

Pa onaj stav kada dobijemo šta smo želeli, a mi smo u fazonu: "pa dobro, ali..." Ne pamtim kada mi je neko rekao da je generalno srećan u svom životu.

Ako bi mogli stalno da budemo srećni, bez da se pomučimo. Jer, Bože moj, to ne zavisi od nas, već od sreće koja se deli pri rođenju. Slažem se da ponekad kada smo dali sve od sebe, postoji i onaj x factor krajnjeg ishoda, na koji mi ne možemo uticati. Ali, treba imati u vidu ovo:

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About the country and the politics I won`t even comment.. On Balkans it`s very popular to moan and constantly be dissatisfied.

And then that attitude when we get what we wanted, but we are like: "Ok, but..". I can`t remember when someone has told me that he/she is satisfied with life in general.

If we could be happy, without any effort. Because, God, it doesn`t depend on us, but on happiness that is given by birth. I agree that sometimes when we gave everything, there`s that X factor of the final outcome, on which we can`t influence. However, you should keep in mind that:

 

.. i ovo: //// .. and this...

 I jedna srećna pesmica za kraj :) //// One happy song for the end :)